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  #1  
Unread 07-02-2019, 04:23 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Default You Out There?

You Out There?

Way back God was all, like,
"Yoohoo, here I am!"

Today, though, when I call, like,
nothing. Nothing. Damn.
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  #2  
Unread 07-02-2019, 05:08 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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Hi Aaron,

You could go with when we call and have a different poem. What does not answer is the answer to a prayer.

Cheers,
John

Also:

There once was a man who said God
Must find it exceedingly odd
To think that this tree
Continues to be
When there’s no one about in the quad.

Last edited by John Isbell; 07-02-2019 at 05:11 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 07-02-2019, 07:09 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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Dear Sir, your astonishmentís odd;
I am always about in the quad.
And thatís why this tree
Will continue to be
Since observed by, yours faithfully, God.
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  #4  
Unread 07-03-2019, 12:39 AM
Andrew Frisardi Andrew Frisardi is offline
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Does "way back" mean in former times, or way back in the N's life? I'd assume the first meaning, but then the N says "Today, though," so it sounds like more personal history is meant.
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  #5  
Unread 07-03-2019, 05:09 AM
Jim Hayes Jim Hayes is offline
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Thereís a lot going on here Aaron, do two nothings make a bigger nothing?
And Ďdamní is loaded.
Yoo-hoo, is maybe too colloquial, and would you consider hailing Yahoo, first coined by Swift connoting boorishness and later evolving into the all seeing internet entity?

As Leibnz put it- why is there something rather than nothing? But is there?

Any way itís provocative and I like it greatly

Jim
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  #6  
Unread 07-03-2019, 11:13 AM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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"SO, YOU WANT MORE EGG IN YOUR BEER? SAY THANK YOU ONCE IN WHILE, EH." This message came from outside the known physical universe, flashing briefly on the destination display in the front of an interstate Greyhound moving at a reasonable speed past a lumbering Alfa Romeo.

Just kidding, mostly.

Allen
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  #7  
Unread 07-03-2019, 12:13 PM
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RCL RCL is offline
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Maximum condensation! It took me 18 lines to say the same thing. Agnostics and Atheists of the world unite, you have nothing to prove and you're right.
__________________
Ralph
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  #8  
Unread 07-03-2019, 07:49 PM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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x
I want a book of your poems with annotations by Allen Tice.

Yep, you're right in the fleshy part of the open wound. This is just one of the conundrums that define our times. Please continue...
x
x
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  #9  
Unread 07-04-2019, 02:23 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
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I share Andrew's issue of whether you're talking about a general decline in belief, or a more personal one. I too assumed the latter, though the first part of this sounds like the former. Maybe you could swap. 'Way back' for something like 'In childhood'.

Jim, I reckon there are still more than enough people talking to God and getting the wrong answers.
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  #10  
Unread 07-04-2019, 07:48 AM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you all for commenting.

Thank you, John, for the epigrammatic parallels.

Thank you, Jim and Ralph, I am glad these four lines pack some epigrammatic power.

Yes, Jim, Allen's comments are fun. I, too, think he should break those down with line breaks and publish them as poems.

Mark and Andrew,
I think I like the ambiguity but I am willing to play around with things.

Would "nowadays" be better? That would preserve both readings, I think.

"Nowadays, when I call, like,
nothing. Nothing. Damn.

?
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