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  #1  
Unread 08-26-2020, 11:33 AM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Default A Manifesto

A Manifesto
(In honor of Charles Baudelaire)

The first of the Un-Romantics,
Charles of Anti-France,
incited people to activist antics
and putsches of Un-Romance.

They barfed on the heavenly bowers,
replaced the lambs with trash
and reduced the virgin-meadow flowers
to slime and industrial ash.

They leveled the nomenclature
of porn and science and crime
against the holy language Nature
sang in her dewy prime.

Their acid candor and acrid
stinks are the modern world.
Let’s start again, with nothing sacred,
among the merdes they hurled.
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  #2  
Unread 08-27-2020, 12:15 PM
Ron Greening Ron Greening is offline
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Hello Aaron,

The foot count and rhymes follow a reliable pattern and the clash of sweet and foul has a degree of impact. I assume that Charles Baudelaire and the Charles of Anti-France are the same Charles, and that you are blaming him for the debauchery that you describe. “In honor”, then, is a sarcasm?

This sets a problem for this poem to somehow meet the strange, rich, nightmarish poetry of Baudelaire on eye-level. Unfortunately, that comparison leaves "A Manifesto" seeming much too pedestrian to do its work.

Ron
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  #3  
Unread 08-27-2020, 12:57 PM
W T Clark W T Clark is online now
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The poem, in its current form, would work better as a sarcastic homage to Philip Larkin.

Last edited by W T Clark; 08-27-2020 at 12:59 PM.
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Unread 08-27-2020, 02:17 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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"The Poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy."

--William Blake
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  #5  
Unread 08-27-2020, 02:21 PM
W T Clark W T Clark is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Poochigian View Post
"The Poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy."

--William Blake

"I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's. I will not reason and compare: my business is to create."
— William Blake

Last edited by W T Clark; 08-27-2020 at 02:27 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 08-27-2020, 05:07 PM
Ron Greening Ron Greening is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaron Poochigian View Post
"The Poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy."

--William Blake
If it makes you feel better to think the quote from Blake describes my comment, okay. But your poem sent me to Baudelaire (thank you for that) and when I came back it seemed diminished, more than illuminated by what I had seen. My ego is well off stage, I think.

Ron
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  #7  
Unread 08-28-2020, 09:06 PM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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My entry for the most inscrutable post on this thread.

On the analogy of "sing, sang, (is or have) sung" and "ring, rang, (is or have) rung", I psubmit that William Blake was excellently stung by a cute comb-making hymenopteran more than once.

Do we think this poem is finished?
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  #8  
Unread 08-28-2020, 10:04 PM
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Daniel Kemper Daniel Kemper is offline
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I get you. And you are right. George Carlin once said, "Punk rock is a plot by all the ugly girls to get the pretty girls to mess themselves up."
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  #9  
Unread 08-28-2020, 10:16 PM
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Daniel Kemper Daniel Kemper is offline
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deleted my outburst

Last edited by Daniel Kemper; 08-29-2020 at 04:01 PM. Reason: deleted my outburst
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  #10  
Unread 08-29-2020, 04:14 AM
W T Clark W T Clark is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Kemper View Post
I have to say, also. Perhaps because I've drunk to much. That Phillip Larkin, once you've grown up, faced actual hardship and danger, and kids...

Sucks. Not a more ignorant pied piper exists. Not a more slackard in form, praising his own weaknesses and ignorance, hoping in his decades-delayed adolescence, to lure along adolescent fans with his encouragements towards ignorance and resent and belittlement.

Again, perhaps too much whiskey, but I think he's a waste of human flesh. At 22, his FIRST girlfriend was 16. This man intends to impart wisdom. I have dear friends, chosen family who revere him and I, who see his casual racism while I, who myself have bi-racial children, cannot see the merit in his works. I dunno...

Not at all to taint Aaron's post with his shortcomings. I think Aaron far more skilled. Far more.

What makes you think I like Philip Larkin?
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