John Isbell's joke about the Daily Mail in his football thread reminded me of this, and I had to share it. The American songwriter Amanda Palmer played Glastonbury a few years ago and the Daily Mail ran a story on their website, along with zoom-lens pictures, that her breast had 'escaped' her bra during the performance. Palmer isn't particularly well known, she wasn't a headliner or anything, and the only reason for the story was the exposed breast. Because that's what the Daily Mail do, because they're vile, misogynist arseholes. Palmer's response was to write and perform this song live. I think she's great, and the song is one of the best ripostes to the tabloid press I've seen. And she has balls of steel for this performance.
https://youtu.be/OiAffX0x04k
Lyrics:
Dear Daily Mail,
It has come to my recent attention
That my summer appearance at Glastonbury festival kindly received a mention
I was doing a number of things on that stage up to and including singing songs (like you do...)
But you chose to ignore that and instead you published a feature review of my boob
Dear Daily Mail,
There's a thing called a search engine: use it!
If you'd googled my tits in advance you'd have found that your photos are hardly exclusive
In addition you state that my breast had 'escaped' from my bra, like a thief on the run
How do you know that it wasn't attempting to just take in the rare British sun?
Dear Daily Mail,
It's so sad what you tabloids are doing
Your focus on debasing women's appearances devolves our species of humans
But a rag is a rag and far be it from me to go censoring anyone, Oh no...
It appears that my entire body is currently trying to escape this kimono...
Dear Daily Mail,
You misogynist pile of twats
I'm tired of these baby bumps, vadge flashes, muffintops
Where are the newsworthy cocks?
If Iggy or Jagger or Bowie go shirtless the news barely causes a ripple
Blah blah blah feminist blah blah blah gender shit blah blah blah
Oh my god! Nipple!
Dear Daily Mail,
You will never write about this night
I know that because I've addressed you directly I've made myself no fun to fight
But thanks to the Internet people all over the world can enjoy this discourse
And commune with a roomful of people in London who aren't drinking Kool-Aid like yours
And though there be millions of people who'll accept the cultural bar where you have it at
There are plenty of others who're perfectly willing to see breasts in their natural habitat
I keenly anticipate your highly literate coverage of upcoming tours
Dear Daily Mail. Up yours.