Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 05-19-2018, 05:39 AM
Michael Ferris's Avatar
Michael Ferris Michael Ferris is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: a foothill of the Catskills
Posts: 865
Default

Ah yes, Annie. And here is the tune, for lazies like me.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-20-2018, 12:37 PM
Felicity Teague's Avatar
Felicity Teague Felicity Teague is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 239
Default

Hi John,

Here's a charming song to sing to a baby boy <(:-)

I like Ann's suggestion. You could use 'joy' there rather than 'coy' if you end with 'What a boy! What a boy!' The song has 'Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!', so that keeps with the pattern. Then you could try 'With a smile so full of joy', or something.

Best wishes,
Fliss
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-25-2018, 10:18 AM
Erik Olson Erik Olson is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,567
Default

John,

To echo what Aaron Poochigian had said, it is indeed nice to see you posting on these boards again. I confess, I neither know how I would begin to critique an air such as this. Of course, it hardly helps that it reads flawlessly from the first; from tone to timber to rhythm, the music is nothing short of impeccable. I durst not advise you meddle with a note, therefore, cannot imagine an improvement to be made. So I simply register my approbation and say that I enjoyed reading it.
Critiques be damned! For he whose lays
nothing out-sings deserves the bays.
Best,
Erik

Last edited by Erik Olson; 05-26-2018 at 11:46 AM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 7,915
Total Threads: 19,392
Total Posts: 250,337
There are 168 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online