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Unread 07-27-2021, 03:39 PM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 3,100
Default 100 Word Obituaries


July 25, 2021

He knocked ‘em dead nightly for twenty years with his one man show in the Catskills and Poconos playing piano, delivering one-liners and kvetching about his existence. Thin-skinned, he sometimes confronted customers who heckled his borscht belt style of entertainment, retorting, “What? You want a piece of me?” making the ladies laugh and drop their handkerchiefs. During his later years he often guest-hosted Larry King Live. He once quipped he built his career on the Talmud, God’s humor, and his own disposition as a rabbi, having come from a long line of them. Condolences have been pouring in for years.

July 25, 2021

Taken away on the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of her seventh life, Nellie was a beloved companion with lots of baggage, none of which will be missed. She lived for us. Her fondest things were bread, swimming in Diamond Cove, and sniffing grass and storm grates. On one occasion, she didn’t come home and we spent hours calling out her name, “Nellie!” and scouring the neighborhood until she just suddenly appeared at the back door covered in mud. Nellie died peacefully in our arms at home.
She has fallen into memory. She is mist.

July 25, 2021

For forty-nine years he was unrealised. Then something changed and things around him began to come alive, or die, depending on what it was. Still, he never did become his dreams. He never dreamed he would. Some things he did that he regretted remained unexpressed until the end. His last words were hard to hear, or made no sense, and so he left like that. Not quite able to make himself clear. He is survived by everyone, the living and the countless others who have waited for him and will surprise him as he climbs the riverbank to meet them.

July 25, 2021

The deceased, who died slowly and does not know it, hoped to be alive again, eventually, in his garden. His fervent wish was that all things growing in his garden be tilled under. The various bric-a-brac he saved in drawers — holy cards, birth announcements, scribblings, painted shells — are to be burned and joined with his ashes and spread in the garden to fuel his revival. The contents of his hard drive will be given to the one who finds them and decides to keep them. There are some survivors. You are a survivor. Some things did not survive.

July 25, 2021

His long-time cook found him stabbed to death, apparently by his own hand, with a pencil. He had a long history of depression. Neighbors said he was reclusive, spoke seldom, wore thick glasses, grew tomatoes in his yard and wore the same clothes for weeks. Schoolchildren said he once made a snowman and used an eraser for a nose and a mitre for a hat. Parishioners sometimes joked that he was “Frosty The Priest”. He left a note, but it didn’t mention why he took his life. Condolences can be sent to the rectory, where his ashes will be interred.


Last edited by Jim Moonan; 07-27-2021 at 04:38 PM.
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Unread 07-27-2021, 04:09 PM
John Riley John Riley is online now
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,900

Jim, I'll need to come back to this tomorrow when I'm up to it. I spent all day at Duke Hospital and am pretty tired. I like them. I want to say that. I think you're on to something. I'm also going to say you may consider putting them at non-met. They work here but a restraint to 100-words is certainly poetry, maybe even formal poetry, and they may get more of the attention they deserve there. And you shouldn't leave me the only one posting prose poems at non-met. Not nice. Seriously, I've read them twice and am impressed and charmed. More later--but move them if you are so moved. They are poems too.
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Unread 08-02-2021, 09:05 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 5,645

Yup, I think these are all brilliant from start to finish. As John says, you are on to something. Keep at it!

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