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Old 08-18-2017, 12:20 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Default Bacchae--Agave dismembers her son

Messenger:
Pentheus set out, and I went behind him—
sightseers, with the Stranger as our guide.
When we had left the city of Thebes behind us
and crossed the river Asopus, we went up
and marched along a spur of Mount Cithaeron.
We settled first inside a grassy hollow
and kept our feet muted, our tongues in check,
so we could see and not ourselves be seen.
There was a rocky dale where springs were flowing,
and pines spread shade, that’s where we found the Maenads—
they all just sat there busying their hands
with pleasant tasks. Some of them wound the threadbare
wreaths atop their pine-cone wands with ivy;
others, like fillies loosed from fancy saddles,
were singing Bacchic songs to one another.
Since he could not make out the band of females
well enough, poor Pentheus fretted, “Stranger,
from where we are, my eyes can’t quite discern
their Bacchic madness. If I climbed the tallest
fir tree on that ridge, though, I could fully
investigate the Maenads' sacred acts.”

That’s where I saw the Stranger work a wonder:
he grabbed the high tip of the pine in question
and bent it down, down to the level earth.
It bellied like a short bow, like a circle
drawn by the arcing motion of a compass.
That’s how the stranger bent the mountain pine
down to the earth—a labor no mere mortal
could have performed. Once Pentheus was set
among the topmost boughs, he let the trunk
and lower branches slide up through his fingers
until the whole tree stood upright again.
He did it gently, so as not to topple
Pentheus, and it rose straight up toward heaven,
my master on its back. The Maenads now
saw Pentheus better than he could see them.
When he was obvious atop his perch,
the Stranger up and vanished, and a sudden
voice, the voice, I think, of Dionysus,
roared from the upper air:
roared from the upper air: “Women, I’ve brought you
the man who has been mocking you and me
and all our holy rites. Avenge me now!”
While he spoke these words, a sacred fire
struck sky and earth. The upper sky was calm;
the wooded hollow hushed its sundry leaves;
and forest beasts were nowhere to be heard.
The Maenads hadn’t fully taken in
that order with their ears—they stood erect
and swung their eyes around. A second time
the bull-god roared his order. When the daughters
of Cadmus knew at last the god’s commandment,
swift as doves, they darted at the man,
and all the Bacchants darted in behind them.
Driven to madness by the breath of Bacchus,
they hurdled boulders as they bounded down
the rain-choked valley.
the rain-choked valley.When they saw my master
sitting in the fir-tree, they ascended
a ridgeline opposite and started launching
rocks at him. Next they threw, like javelins,
the branches they had ripped from nearby pine trees.
Others hurled their pine-cone wands at him,
a most unlucky target, but they missed.

Though treed and helpless, Pentheus was far
too high for them, for all they strained to reach him.
So they started ripping up the roots
beneath the tree with crowbars not of iron
but oakwood. When this effort failed as well,
Agave shouted, “Make a circle round it,
Maenads; grip the trunk and we will snare
the beast beyond our clutches. Otherwise
he will divulge our secret sacred dances
to all the world.” A hundred hand-grips seized
the fir-tree, ripped it straight out of the earth.
Tumbling earthward from his lofty perch,
Pentheus hit the ground and shrieked and groaned.
His end was coming, and he knew it well.

His mother, as priestess, led the sacrifice—
she leapt at him. He wrenched his headdress off
so that the cursed Agave would perceive
he was her son and stop attacking him.
He touched her cheek and pleaded, “Mother, look,
it’s me, your dear son Pentheus, the child
you bore in Echion’s palace. Pity me.
Do not destroy me to avenge my errors!”
Her lips were dripping foam; her eyes were rolling;
her thoughts were scarcely what they should have been.
The Bacchic power was there possessing her,
so all his pleas were moot.
so all his pleas were moot.Gripping his hand,
she dug her foot into the poor man’s side
and tore his arm off at the shoulder. No,
her strength was not her own—the god had put
the power to kill with ease into her hands.
Ino was also shredding Pentheus—
she ripped the flesh out on the other side.
AutonoŽ and all the other Bacchants
joined in as well. War-whoops were everywhere.
He groaned out all the breath he still had in him.
The women trilled. One of them held an arm;
One held a booted foot. Their raw-meat-madness
had stripped the ribcage naked, and they all
were rearing bloody hands to catch and throw
morsels of flesh like they were playing ball.
The bulk of him was scattered, parts out under
the rugged cliffs, parts in the forest brush—
it won’t be easy to collect it all.
As for the wretched head Agave claimed,
well, she has fixed the thing atop her staff
and carries it about on Mount Cithaeron
as if it were a prize, a lion’s head.
Her sisters stayed behind among the Maenads.
Glorying now in her accursed hunt
and back inside of Thebes, she is invoking
the Bacchic god as mighty victory-giver,
sharer-in-the-quarry and fellow hunter
with whose assistance she has won her prize
of lamentation. I am leaving now
before Agave marches back into the palace.
I want to get away from the disaster.
Self-control and reverence toward the gods—
these are the best possessions for us mortals,
the wisest virtues we can cultivate.

. . . . .

Line 8 was "so we could see them without being seen."
Penultimate line was "these are the best things that we mortals practice,"


Crib
When we left the settlements of the Theban land and crossed the streams of Asopos, 1045 we began to ascend the heights of Kithairon, Pentheus and I - for I was following my master - and the xenos, who was the conductor of our mission. First we sat in a grassy vale, 1050 keeping our feet and voice quiet, so that we might see them without being seen. There was a little valley surrounded by precipices, wet with water, shaded by pine trees, where the Maenads were sitting, their hands busy with delightful labors [ponoi]. Some of them were 1055 again crowning the wilted thyrsos, making it leafy with ivy, while some, like colts freed from the dappled yoke, were singing a Bacchic tune to one another. Pentheus, that unhappy man, said, not seeing the crowd of women: "Xenos, 1060 from where we are standing I cannot see these false Maenads. But on the banks of the ravine, ascending a lofty pine, I might view properly the shameful acts of the Maenads." And then I saw the xenos perform a marvel. Seizing hold of the lofty top-most branch of a pine tree, 1065 he drew it down, down, down to the black ground. It was bent just as a bow or a curved wheel, when it is marked out by a compass, describes a circular course; in this way the xenos drew the mountain bough and bent it to the earth, doing what no mortal could. 1070 He sat Pentheus down on the pine branch, and released it gently from his hands, taking care not to shake him off. The pine stood firmly upright into the sky, with my master seated on its back. 1075 He was seen by the Maenads more than he saw them. He was just becoming visible sitting on the tree up above, and the xenos was no longer anywhere to be seen, when a voice, Dionysus, I guess, cried out from the air: "Young women, 1080 I bring the one who has made you and me and my rites a laughing-stock. Punish him!" And as he said this a light of holy fire was placed between heaven and earth.

The air became quiet and the woody glen 1085 kept its leaves silent, nor would you have heard the sounds of animals. The women, not having heard the sound clearly, stood upright and looked all around. He repeated his order, and when the daughters of Cadmus recognized the clear command of Bacchus, 1090 they - mother Agave, her sisters, and all other Bacchae - began to move rapidly, no slower than doves, running eagerly with their feet. They leapt through the torrent-streaming valley and mountain cliffs, frantic with the inspiration of the god. 1095 When they saw my master sitting in the pine, first they climbed a rock towering opposite the tree and began to hurl at him large rocks violently thrown. At the same time he was fired upon by branches of fir, and other women hurled their thyrsoi through the air 1100 at Pentheus, a sad target indeed. But they did not reach him, for the wretched man, completely confounded, sat at a height too great for their eagerness. Finally they shattered, as though with a thunder-bolt, some oak branches and began to tear up the roots of the tree with these ironless levers. 1105 When they did not succeed in their toils, Agave said: "Come, standing round in a circle, seize each a branch, Maenads, so that we may catch this inaccessible beast, and so that he does not make public the secret khoroi of the god." They applied countless hands 1110 to the pine and dragged it up from the earth. Pentheus falls crashing to the ground from his lofty seat, wailing greatly; for he knew he was near doom.



His own mother, as priestess, began the slaughter, 1115 and fell upon him. He threw the miter from his head so that wretched Agave might recognize and not kill him. Touching her cheek, he said: "It is I, mother, your son Pentheus, whom you bore in the house of Ekhion. 1120 Pity me, mother! Do not kill me, your child, for my errors!"

But she, foaming at the mouth and rolling her eyes all about, with her phrenes not as they should be, was under the control of Bacchus, and he did not convince her. 1125 Seizing his left arm at the elbow and propping her foot against the unfortunate man’s side, she tore out his shoulder, not by her own strength, but with the god providing assistance to her hands. Ino began to work on the other side, 1130 tearing his flesh, while Autonoe and the rest of the crowd pressed on. All were making noise together, and he groaned to the extent that he had life left in him, while they shouted in victory. One of them started to carry an arm, another a leg, boots and all. His ribs were stripped bare 1135 by their tearings. The whole band, hands bloodied, started playing a game of catch with Pentheus’ flesh.



His body lies scattered in pieces, parts of him in the rugged rocks, others caught in the deep foliage of the woods; the search for them is not easy. 1140 The miserable head, which his mother happened to take in her hands, she fixed on the end of a thyrsos and carries through the midst of Kithairon like that of a wild lion, leaving behind her sisters among the Maenads’ khoroi. She comes inside these walls, preening herself on the ill-fated prey 1145, calling upon Bacchus, her fellow hunter, her accomplice in the chase, the victor, in whose service she wins a triumph of tears.



And as for me, I will depart out of the way of this disaster before Agave reaches the house. 1150 Balance [sŰphronein] and reverence for the affairs of the gods is best. I think this is the most sophon possession for mortals' use.

Greek Text
ἐπεὶ θεράπνας τῆσδε Θηβαίας χθονὸς
λιπόντες ἐξέβημεν Ἀσωποῦ ῥοάς,
1045λέπας Κιθαιρώνειον εἰσεβάλλομεν
Πενθεύς τε κἀγώ--δεσπότῃ γὰρ εἱπόμην--
ξένος θ᾽ ὃς ἡμῖν πομπὸς ἦν θεωρίας.
πρῶτον μὲν οὖν ποιηρὸν ἵζομεν νάπος,
τά τ᾽ ἐκ ποδῶν σιγηλὰ καὶ γλώσσης ἄπο
1050σῴζοντες, ὡς ὁρῷμεν οὐχ ὁρώμενοι.
ἦν δ᾽ ἄγκος ἀμφίκρημνον, ὕδασι διάβροχον,
πεύκαισι συσκιάζον, ἔνθα μαινάδες
καθῆντ᾽ ἔχουσαι χεῖρας ἐν τερπνοῖς πόνοις.
αἳ μὲν γὰρ αὐτῶν θύρσον ἐκλελοιπότα
1055κισσῷ κομήτην αὖθις ἐξανέστεφον,
αἳ δ᾽, ἐκλιποῦσαι ποικίλ᾽ ὡς πῶλοι ζυγά,
βακχεῖον ἀντέκλαζον ἀλλήλαις μέλος.
Πενθεὺς δ᾽ ὁ τλήμων θῆλυν οὐχ ὁρῶν ὄχλον
ἔλεξε τοιάδ᾽: Ὦ ξέν᾽, οὗ μὲν ἕσταμεν,
1060οὐκ ἐξικνοῦμαι μαινάδων ὄσσοις νόθων:
ὄχθων δ᾽ ἔπ᾽, ἀμβὰς ἐς ἐλάτην ὑψαύχενα,
ἴδοιμ᾽ ἂν ὀρθῶς μαινάδων αἰσχρουργίαν.
τοὐντεῦθεν ἤδη τοῦ ξένου τὸ θαῦμ᾽ ὁρῶ:
λαβὼν γὰρ ἐλάτης οὐράνιον ἄκρον κλάδον
1065κατῆγεν, ἦγεν, ἦγεν ἐς μέλαν πέδον:
κυκλοῦτο δ᾽ ὥστε τόξον ἢ κυρτὸς τροχὸς
τόρνῳ γραφόμενος περιφορὰν ἕλκει δρόμον:
ὣς κλῶν᾽ ὄρειον ὁ ξένος χεροῖν ἄγων
ἔκαμπτεν ἐς γῆν, ἔργματ᾽ οὐχὶ θνητὰ δρῶν.
1070Πενθέα δ᾽ ἱδρύσας ἐλατίνων ὄζων ἔπι,
ὀρθὸν μεθίει διὰ χερῶν βλάστημ᾽ ἄνω
ἀτρέμα, φυλάσσων μὴ ἀναχαιτίσειέ νιν,
ὀρθὴ δ᾽ ἐς ὀρθὸν αἰθέρ᾽ ἐστηρίζετο,
ἔχουσα νώτοις δεσπότην ἐφήμενον:
1075ὤφθη δὲ μᾶλλον ἢ κατεῖδε μαινάδας.
ὅσον γὰρ οὔπω δῆλος ἦν θάσσων ἄνω,
καὶ τὸν ξένον μὲν οὐκέτ᾽ εἰσορᾶν παρῆν,
ἐκ δ᾽ αἰθέρος φωνή τις, ὡς μὲν εἰκάσαι
Διόνυσος, ἀνεβόησεν: Ὦ νεάνιδες,
1080ἄγω τὸν ὑμᾶς κἀμὲ τἀμά τ᾽ ὄργια
γέλων τιθέμενον: ἀλλὰ τιμωρεῖσθέ νιν.
καὶ ταῦθ᾽ ἅμ᾽ ἠγόρευε καὶ πρὸς οὐρανὸν
καὶ γαῖαν ἐστήριξε φῶς σεμνοῦ πυρός.
σίγησε δ᾽ αἰθήρ, σῖγα δ᾽ ὕλιμος νάπη
1085φύλλ᾽ εἶχε, θηρῶν δ᾽ οὐκ ἂν ἤκουσας βοήν.
αἳ δ᾽ ὠσὶν ἠχὴν οὐ σαφῶς δεδεγμέναι
ἔστησαν ὀρθαὶ καὶ διήνεγκαν κόρας.
ὃ δ᾽ αὖθις ἐπεκέλευσεν: ὡς δ᾽ ἐγνώρισαν
σαφῆ κελευσμὸν Βακχίου Κάδμου κόραι,
1090ᾖξαν πελείας ὠκύτητ᾽ οὐχ ἥσσονες
ποδῶν τρέχουσαι συντόνοις δραμήμασι,
μήτηρ Ἀγαύη σύγγονοί θ᾽ ὁμόσποροι
πᾶσαί τε βάκχαι: διὰ δὲ χειμάρρου νάπης
ἀγμῶν τ᾽ ἐπήδων θεοῦ πνοαῖσιν ἐμμανεῖς.
1095ὡς δ᾽ εἶδον ἐλάτῃ δεσπότην ἐφήμενον,
πρῶτον μὲν αὐτοῦ χερμάδας κραταιβόλους
ἔρριπτον, ἀντίπυργον ἐπιβᾶσαι πέτραν,
ὄζοισί τ᾽ ἐλατίνοισιν ἠκοντίζετο.
ἄλλαι δὲ θύρσους ἵεσαν δι᾽ αἰθέρος
1100Πενθέως, στόχον δύστηνον: ἀλλ᾽ οὐκ ἤνυτον.
κρεῖσσον γὰρ ὕψος τῆς προθυμίας ἔχων
καθῆσθ᾽ ὁ τλήμων, ἀπορίᾳ λελημμένος.
τέλος δὲ δρυΐνους συγκεραυνοῦσαι κλάδους
ῥίζας ἀνεσπάρασσον ἀσιδήροις μοχλοῖς.
1105ἐπεὶ δὲ μόχθων τέρματ᾽ οὐκ ἐξήνυτον,
ἔλεξ᾽ Ἀγαύη: Φέρε, περιστᾶσαι κύκλῳ
πτόρθου λάβεσθε, μαινάδες, τὸν ἀμβάτην
θῆρ᾽ ὡς ἕλωμεν, μηδ᾽ ἀπαγγείλῃ θεοῦ
χοροὺς κρυφαίους. αἳ δὲ μυρίαν χέρα
1110προσέθεσαν ἐλάτῃ κἀξανέσπασαν χθονός:
ὑψοῦ δὲ θάσσων ὑψόθεν χαμαιριφὴς
πίπτει πρὸς οὖδας μυρίοις οἰμώγμασιν
Πενθεύς: κακοῦ γὰρ ἐγγὺς ὢν ἐμάνθανεν.
πρώτη δὲ μήτηρ ἦρξεν ἱερέα φόνου
1115καὶ προσπίτνει νιν: ὃ δὲ μίτραν κόμης ἄπο
ἔρριψεν, ὥς νιν γνωρίσασα μὴ κτάνοι
τλήμων Ἀγαύη, καὶ λέγει, παρηίδος
ψαύων: Ἐγώ τοι, μῆτερ, εἰμί, παῖς σέθεν
Πενθεύς, ὃν ἔτεκες ἐν δόμοις Ἐχίονος:
1120οἴκτιρε δ᾽ ὦ μῆτέρ με, μηδὲ ταῖς ἐμαῖς
ἁμαρτίαισι παῖδα σὸν κατακτάνῃς.
ἣ δ᾽ ἀφρὸν ἐξιεῖσα καὶ διαστρόφους
κόρας ἑλίσσουσ᾽, οὐ φρονοῦσ᾽ ἃ χρὴ φρονεῖν,
ἐκ Βακχίου κατείχετ᾽, οὐδ᾽ ἔπειθέ νιν.
1125λαβοῦσα δ᾽ ὠλένης ἀριστερὰν χέρα,
πλευραῖσιν ἀντιβᾶσα τοῦ δυσδαίμονος
ἀπεσπάραξεν ὦμον, οὐχ ὑπὸ σθένους,
ἀλλ᾽ ὁ θεὸς εὐμάρειαν ἐπεδίδου χεροῖν:
Ἰνὼ δὲ τἀπὶ θάτερ᾽ ἐξειργάζετο,
1130ῥηγνῦσα σάρκας, Αὐτονόη τ᾽ ὄχλος τε πᾶς
ἐπεῖχε βακχῶν: ἦν δὲ πᾶσ᾽ ὁμοῦ βοή,
ὃ μὲν στενάζων ὅσον ἐτύγχαν᾽ ἐμπνέων,
αἳ δ᾽ ἠλάλαζον. ἔφερε δ᾽ ἣ μὲν ὠλένην,
ἣ δ᾽ ἴχνος αὐταῖς ἀρβύλαις: γυμνοῦντο δὲ
1135πλευραὶ σπαραγμοῖς: πᾶσα δ᾽ ᾑματωμένη
χεῖρας διεσφαίριζε σάρκα Πενθέως.
κεῖται δὲ χωρὶς σῶμα, τὸ μὲν ὑπὸ στύφλοις
πέτραις, τὸ δ᾽ ὕλης ἐν βαθυξύλῳ φόβῃ,
οὐ ῥᾴδιον ζήτημα: κρᾶτα δ᾽ ἄθλιον,
1140ὅπερ λαβοῦσα τυγχάνει μήτηρ χεροῖν,
πήξασ᾽ ἐπ᾽ ἄκρον θύρσον ὡς ὀρεστέρου
φέρει λέοντος διὰ Κιθαιρῶνος μέσου,
λιποῦσ᾽ ἀδελφὰς ἐν χοροῖσι μαινάδων.
χωρεῖ δὲ θήρᾳ δυσπότμῳ γαυρουμένη
1145τειχέων ἔσω τῶνδ᾽, ἀνακαλοῦσα Βάκχιον
τὸν ξυγκύναγον, τὸν ξυνεργάτην ἄγρας,
τὸν καλλίνικον, ᾧ δάκρυα νικηφορεῖ.
ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν τῇδ᾽ ἐκποδὼν τῇ ξυμφορᾷ
ἄπειμ᾽, Ἀγαύην πρὶν μολεῖν πρὸς δώματα.
1150τὸ σωφρονεῖν δὲ καὶ σέβειν τὰ τῶν θεῶν
κάλλιστον: οἶμαι δ᾽ αὐτὸ καὶ σοφώτατον
θνητοῖσιν εἶναι κτῆμα τοῖσι χρωμένοις.

Last edited by Aaron Poochigian; 09-14-2017 at 07:42 PM.
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  #2  
Old 08-18-2017, 01:42 PM
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin's Avatar
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin Duncan Gillies MacLaurin is offline
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Double post.

Last edited by Duncan Gillies MacLaurin; 08-18-2017 at 01:48 PM.
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Old 08-18-2017, 01:47 PM
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Duncan Gillies MacLaurin Duncan Gillies MacLaurin is offline
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A few proof-reading things, that's all. Otherwise, it reads nicely.

The stranger is capitalised in line two but not later.

At the end of section one you have the apostrophe before the 's'. You want Maenads'.

You have:
a forest beasts were nowhere to be heard.

Perhaps you wanted:
and forest beasts were nowhere to be heard.

This construction strikes me as rather artificial. The phrase "were nowhere to be seen" is an idiom, but this is not. Perhaps "were silent as the grave".

Likewise, "taken in /... with their ears" for "heard" seems a bit of a stretch.

Duncan
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Old 08-18-2017, 03:50 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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Hi Aaron,

Very nicely done, though a very sad story. Duncan noted a few proofreading details; my only additional comment is that the switch to historic present caught me by surprise until I checked the prose crib. Your public won't have the Greek with them, I imagine, but i suppose that in seeing Euripides they'll expect a certain quirkiness to the flow of language - tense switches and so forth.

Cheers,
John
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:05 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you, Duncan and John.

Duncan, I am very grateful for your eyes--thank you for finding those typos. I ahve corrected them.

I am thinking about the auditory lines you point out--they are a bit heavy handed. I will look closely at the Greek and see if I can, in revision, push my translation even closer to the original.

John, the messenger speech has to flow smoothly and be understandable on a first hearing. I will read through the whole speech aloud and double-check the tenses in he process.

Thanks, thanks,

Aaron
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Old 08-18-2017, 05:26 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is online now
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"them" in L8 doesn't seem to have a possible antecedent other than "feet" and "tongues," which of course are not what is meant.

And in the penultimate line, "things" sounds a bit awkward to me. Maybe something like "these are the best practices of mortals"?

I enjoyed the rest. The Greek is Greek to me, and I didn't bother studying the crib. I just trusted you for accuracy and reacted solely to the English, which I felt moved along nicely.
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Old 08-18-2017, 07:39 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you, Roger, that line 8 is very important--voyeurism/spectation is a major theme in the speech. I will revise to the following (with italics):

so we could see and not ourselves be seen.

. . . . .

To get rid of "things" in the penultimate line, I will revise to:

these are the best possessions for us mortals,
the wisest virtues we can cultivate.

Thanks very much,

Aaron

Last edited by Aaron Poochigian; 08-18-2017 at 07:42 PM.
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Old 08-19-2017, 12:30 PM
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Wonderful, Aaron. Don't mess with Dionysius.
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Old 09-14-2017, 02:12 AM
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This is very well done. In particular, very inspired choice of "sightseers" to bring out the ambiguities and sightliness of θεωρία, to be then echoed by the unseemly seeing and seamless unseenness of line 8.

I am pretty sure I remember seeing a previous translation of this passage on the board a while back — maybe an earlier draft of yours?

κυκλοῦτο δ᾽ ὥστε τόξον ἢ κυρτὸς τροχὸς
τόρνῳ γραφόμενος περιφορὰν ἕλκει δρόμον

There's some sustained soundplay of alliteration, syllable-repetition and internal consonant-echoing etc. in these lines. Probably I'm just being difficult but the three beats of "bellied like a long-bow" don't seem (extended enough) to quite capture the effect. I wonder if you could pun on "draw" somehow, describe curve of a backdrawn bow, alongside the curving arc drawn by a τόρνος. Or maybe that's gimmicky.

Long-bow here feels iffy and a bit overtechnical (also when English speakers read longbow their minds go to a much more recent medieval variety of bow.) And to me at least, the great strength displayed by the xenos seems evocative of the powerful drawing-arm needed to handle a composite bow. (Then again, the image of a tree first standing straight and then bending fits more with the way a longbow or any other self bow would appear to behave.)

The "compass" for τόρνος. It isn't clear, at least not to me, what kind of implement is actually meant in the Greek. But I'm not a carpenter. "Compass" irks me less in the prose-rendering than in your verse translation. I know you mean drawing compass. I'm not sure most English-readers can be trusted to know that without some thought, (or that compasses in the more common sense were unknown to the Greeks in the 5th century BC.) I, when reading this through first — before reading the Greek — had to do a double take before remembering the other kind of compass. Anyway, maybe you could fix that bug by getting creative in how you render γραφόμενος. Or maybe the entire image could be paraphrased with greater liberty.

Last edited by AZ Foreman; 09-14-2017 at 02:22 AM.
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Old 09-14-2017, 07:42 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you, AZ. I have looked closely at the two lines on which you focused.

i have gone for

It bellied like a short bow, like a circle
drawn by the arcing motion of a compass.

"short bow" is better than "long bow" because a short bow "bellies" more. Also, "spiral" was misleading, so I have gone for "arcing" instead.

Thank you, thank you,

Aaron
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