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Old 09-02-2010, 06:35 AM
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Default staggers the next challenge

No 4144 Set by Leonora Casement
A famous person spills the beans about the first lie they ever told.
Max 125 words by 16 September
comp@newstatesman.co.uk


The first lie? That's the one that really counts, isn't it? In my case it governed everything that happened afterwards. And it was only a moment of bravado. You see, I had very humble origins Ė no kidding, born in a cowshed, the old man a jobbing carpenter, minimal expectations... well, you get the picture. Anyway, cut a long story short, I was drinking with these fishermen somewhere in Galilee and they were bragging away as fisherman do and there wasn't much I could throw in the pot by way of achievements so in my cups I said 'I am the promised Messiah'. And they believed me! So I had to live up to it. Course, I didn't realise I'd be nailed up for it.
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Old 09-02-2010, 07:35 AM
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Good one, Bazza. Bags I the snake.
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:28 AM
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Bazza, you've set the bar really high, as usual. Wouldn't it be better to say "nailed for" rather than "nailed up for?" That's the way the expression goes, and you'd get the double meaning.
What's the prize for this one, BTW? Not that it matters... We do it for the glory, of course.
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:53 AM
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Default thanks but

I wanted the parallelism of 'live up' & 'nailed up'. Also, if you are on a cross up is where you are.

Last edited by basil ransome-davies; 09-02-2010 at 11:05 AM. Reason: preterite corrected to infinitive
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Old 09-02-2010, 11:00 AM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default oh, the prize

Excuse my neglecting your question. Usual prize in the Staggers is £20, sometimes £25, & the bonus is a (sterling Ė £15) Tesco card.
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Old 09-02-2010, 11:35 AM
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Not bad!

I had to Google Tesco. Do you think they deliver to Boston?
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Old 09-03-2010, 12:03 PM
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Send me your vouchers. I'll send you dollars.

The First Lie

Iíve never been vicious or shady
And Iíve never said more than I meant
But a gent canít say no to a lady
And everyone knows Iím a gent.

And that preacher man down at the chapel
Is a miserable sort of a git.
He could see that she wanted the apple
And it wouldnít have mattered a bit.

It was Sin that the daughters of Venus
(so he said) should all strive to avoid.
But itís really to do with the penis.
You can read all about it in Freud.

So I told her the Sin wasnít serious,
For reasons obscure and occult.
Girls are suckers for something mysterious,
So I swiftly obtained a result.
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Old 09-06-2010, 01:01 PM
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Come on you Americans! There's George Washington with his little hatchet! He didn't REALLY chop the tree down, did he?
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Old 09-09-2010, 02:29 AM
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What Bazza didn't tell you, because he's a modest fellow, is that he won money in the competition where you put a literary classic into the modern idiom. And what I didn't tell you, because I didn't know, was that I got an Hon Mensh. Should've won of course.
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