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Old 09-19-2010, 06:22 AM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Default Staggers; Primitive Language

The last NS Competition, writing parodies of Hopkins or Coleridge or someone else, was won, among others, by Bazza and Bill. Hearty cheers to them. One of them got the fiver. I don't think any Spheriean had a go except me and I DIDN'T WIN.

The new comp is to expound in 100 words of 'primitive language' some abstruse philsophical doctrine by some named philosopher possibly. Care to try Heidegger? What is 'primitive language'? Search me.

By 30 September to the usual email address. I had all this written down oin my shopping list which I lost in Argos. If Bazza or somebody can get it down properly I'd be most grateful.

I have the whole of Catholic Doctrine as I understand it in 97 words. I wouldn't generally be so rude but we have had the little fellow here in his ice-cream van for a bit too long. Did you know that Woman Priests are as big a sin as mass pederasty? Well they are. He says so.

The Catholic Truth Society

God Word Holy Writ.
Holy Writ Good Book.
God He Holy Three,
God the Father, God the Son
And God the Holy Spook.

Holy Three is Holy One,
Three-in-one and One-in-three,
Holy Christianity.
Holy Writ some shit
But God tell True to me.

Holy True is Holy Church.
Holy Church is what I say.
Who I? I Pope.
Who you? You Dope.
Pope Rules. OK.

I Pope Big Hat,
I Pope Good Cook,
I Pope say that
I Pope Best Book
For God the Father, God the Son
And God the Holy Spook.
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:57 AM
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Default smash da icons

I like that, John. Be as rude as you like about mumbo-jumbo & pie in the sky, not to mention authoritarian pontiffs & kiddie-diddling priests. My tristesse is that, having invented a linguistically defective code for the id, I must do it over again – but different.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:18 AM
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Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Wink

I'm sure you'll manage, Bazza - in magnificent style!
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:24 AM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default 'preciate your confidence, chief...

as McLeod used to say.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:12 PM
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Orwn Acra Orwn Acra is offline
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Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

1. Is.

2. Is is Is.

3. It Is "Is" is not It Is Not "Is"

4. Is-ing "Is" is is-ing.

5. Is is Is. Not Is is not.

6. Is is Is is Is is Is is Is is Is is Is is Is is Is.

7.

Last edited by Orwn Acra; 09-20-2010 at 01:15 PM.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:51 PM
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Ah, is that what the bloody thing means?
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:00 PM
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The High Priest of the Bleedin' Obvious immortally word-processed and served up in a bun. I would like to see that rewarded with hard cash as well as the appreciative laughter of those who read it here.

Right on,

bazza
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Old 09-21-2010, 11:49 AM
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Bazza,

That's very nice of you, thanks!

John,

If you can, read George Pitcher's essay "Wittgenstein, Nonsense, and Lewis Carroll". It talks about how both men dealt with the same sort of language and logic curiosities but how Wittgenstein saw these phenomena as sources of anguish and Carroll saw them as jokes.

I think you'd agree that Carroll wins.
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Old 09-21-2010, 12:50 PM
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Thank you, Orwn. The Uni of Kent is pretty poor for texts, but I will do my best. George Pitcher. Right.
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Old 09-21-2010, 02:14 PM
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I have to say, I don't get this contest, and I know my piece is not appropriate, since it's hardly a doctrine from some abstruse philosopher; but when I think of the gold standard of primitive language, this is what comes to mind:

Life good. Mama Kala much love in heart. Teeka nice girl. Cheetah good friend. Vine, river, splash—fun! But now—me different! Body not same. Strange feelings... Ooooh! Who that? Stranger! Girl -- like Teeka. But different -- more pretty! Nice smile. Strange talk. Who you? Strange name! Who me? Me Tarzan. You Jane.
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