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  #11  
Unread 06-30-2016, 04:05 AM
Erik Olson Erik Olson is offline
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Effaced as no good.

Last edited by Erik Olson; 06-30-2016 at 09:37 AM.
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  #12  
Unread 06-30-2016, 06:22 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Erik, I'm afraid that 'Gloucester' isn't even a slant rhyme with 'cure'. It's pronounced 'Gloster', to rhyme with 'foster' or 'roster'.

'Banner-waving' needs a hyphen.

'Argot' is pronounce 'ARgo', and doesn't rhyme with 'what'.

And you've used both 'town' and 'crown' twice as end-rhymes.

Apart from that, I'm having difficulty working out the meaning in several places ...

Sorry to be so nitty.

Last edited by Brian Allgar; 06-30-2016 at 06:26 AM.
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  #13  
Unread 06-30-2016, 06:29 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Bob, I think W. C. Fields would have agreed with your first one.
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  #14  
Unread 06-30-2016, 09:44 AM
Erik Olson Erik Olson is offline
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To See the Sea

Cousin, dismiss, nor catch the lust for sea!
I had the sense when first the sails unfurled,
To hate its ‘life’: A VOYAGE ROUND THE WORLD
Lures droves to anchor in captivity.
What crowds! A sailor’s happiness? A brute's
Is, think all sensuality, fresh meats!
No earth bears features, bosomy whores, fruits . . .
Round untouched air, we cleave the watery sheets;
But ‘midst the desert vices root with urges.
In Hobbesian savage states, some bite raw gulls.
The finny race keep under breaking surges;
We’re cramped on-board, blind viewless barnacles.
Our courage must work like machinery;
Death points to sea, sole point to see the sea.

g

Last edited by Erik Olson; 07-03-2016 at 12:01 AM.
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  #15  
Unread 06-30-2016, 01:43 PM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Well, since this is far too rude, frivolous, and not at all "oh, so poetic", for Tessa these days, I might as well post it.


I am a bishop. See my purple knickers?
I’m liberal, permissive, ultra-trendy.
Can’t stand ecclesiastical arse-lickers
Who'd rather play with Peter Pan than Wendy.
Stiff rectitude may suit those straight-laced vicars,
But I prefer my congregation bendy,
Especially the girls. To hear confession,
I tell them they must pray upon their knees,
And while they’re there, a phallophilic session
Imbibing holy spirit’s sure to please.
Forget your scrutty sackcloth and your hessian;
They love my silk episcopal striptease.

But now I’ve been unfrocked. Well, I’ll astound
Those fusty fossils. Sod off, C of E!
My gorgeous followers and I will found
An offshore diocese. To sea, the See!

L4 - was 'Who still deny what Peter did to Wendy'
L13 - changed 'confound' to 'astound'

Last edited by Brian Allgar; 07-05-2016 at 05:10 AM.
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  #16  
Unread 06-30-2016, 02:10 PM
Charlie Southerland Charlie Southerland is offline
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Not too shabby, Brian.
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  #17  
Unread 06-30-2016, 07:00 PM
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Douglas G. Brown Douglas G. Brown is offline
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curses ... doubled posted. see#18

Last edited by Douglas G. Brown; 06-30-2016 at 07:10 PM.
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  #18  
Unread 06-30-2016, 07:08 PM
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Douglas G. Brown Douglas G. Brown is offline
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Brian,

A clever lead-up to a surprising punchline.

Hereabouts, the Episcopal clerics seem to favor boys, and leave the predation of the girls to the lesser Protestant denominations.

frivolous, and not at all "oh, so poetic",

"To see the sea?" A most poetic notion;
But where I be, we say we see the ocean.

Last edited by Douglas G. Brown; 06-30-2016 at 08:36 PM.
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  #19  
Unread 07-01-2016, 12:04 AM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Nice one, Brian. But what did Peter do to Wendy? Have you an unexpurgated text?

And, Douglas, nobody goes to the oceanside.
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  #20  
Unread 07-01-2016, 02:29 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Thanks, Charlie, Douglas and John.

I'm not sure the Peter and Wendy bit works, John, except in the smutty mind of the bishop. And I've just spotted that I've used 'confound/found' as rhymes. Oh well, still plenty of time to tinker with it - if indeed I bother to send it in.
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