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  #11  
Unread 08-20-2010, 08:24 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Great ideas. I'll definitely work on that. Largeperson might be the way to go.

Here's another:

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF

Once upon a time a shepherd boy grew bored and cried Wolf even though there was no wolf. The townsfolk came running to save him, only to discover that they had been fooled.

“It doesn’t matter,” they told him. “What counts is that you are safe.”

The boy grew bored again and cried Wolf. The townsfolk came running, only to find that there was no wolf.

“You are so creative!” they told him. “What a wonderful imagination!”

The next day, an actual wolf attacked the boy and the sheep. The boy cried Wolf at the top of his lungs.

The townsfolk didn’t believe there was a wolf. But they didn’t want to hurt the boy’s feelings by seeming not to care, nor did they want to discourage his imagination. So they ran to save him, and neither the boy nor the sheep were hurt.

Moral: Never ignore a boy crying Wolf.
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  #12  
Unread 08-20-2010, 08:26 AM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default wet blanketismo

For once I wish for a verse comp. All doo respeck, as Paulie Walnuts would say, I fear this one invites the bleedin' obvious. Also, mockery or denunciation of 'political correctness' has tended to be a cudgel with which knee-jerk motormouth bigots (Richard Littlejohn, Jeremy Clarkson, Taki, etc. in the UK) attack attitudes of broad empathy & open-minded understanding of the 'other'.

I'll have a go anyway, but my heart won't be in it.
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  #13  
Unread 08-20-2010, 08:43 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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And here's "Jack" with a slight revision to avoid the judgmental "giant" word:


JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

Jack was being raised by a single mother who was perfectly capable of providing him with an upbringing equal to or better than that of a child raised by two parents, but they lived in poverty because of gender discrimination.

One day she sent Jack to sell their grass-fed cow. To his mother’s delight, Jack accepted organic beans in payment. He planted the beans with a bit of compost, and they shot skyward. Removing his shoes to avoid damaging a living creature, he climbed to the top and discovered a land whose king suffered from pituitary gigantism and acromegaly.

Jack used diplomatic persuasion to convince the king to abdicate in favor of democracy. The grateful populace offered Jack the Golden Goose, but Jack refused.

When Jack returned home, he and his mother never went hungry or lacked for fibre again thanks to the nutritious beans now growing in their backyard.
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  #14  
Unread 08-20-2010, 08:51 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by basil ransome-davies View Post
For once I wish for a verse comp. All doo respeck, as Paulie Walnuts would say, I fear this one invites the bleedin' obvious. Also, mockery or denunciation of 'political correctness' has tended to be a cudgel with which knee-jerk motormouth bigots (Richard Littlejohn, Jeremy Clarkson, Taki, etc. in the UK) attack attitudes of broad empathy & open-minded understanding of the 'other'.

I'll have a go anyway, but my heart won't be in it.
I agree, Bazza. I'm a sincere believer in political correctness myself, and I think the term was invented primarily to give bigoted and unkind people a seemingly principled way to respond to those who would call them on it.

But that doesn't mean we can't indulge in a bit of self-mockery from time to time.

(I do happen to believe, by the way, that everyone should have run to help the boy who cried wolf even if the boy had lied in the past. For me, the real moral is that all alarms must be answered, even if many of them are false.)
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  #15  
Unread 08-20-2010, 09:41 AM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Wink agreed

With you there, Roger. Self-satire I have no problem with. I do it all the time. No hatred, ignorance, injustice or cruelty involved. In fact it's a kind of left-handed vanity. (Not that I have anything against sinistrals, you understand.)
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  #16  
Unread 08-20-2010, 11:05 AM
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Gail White Gail White is offline
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This was so obvious to me I'm surprised no one beat me to it:

Sand Pink, the ethnically ambiguous princess, incurred the wrath of the queen by
refusing to eat anything but plants. The wicked queen commanded her huntsman to kill Pink and bring back her heart, but he substituted a heart made of tofu and the princess escaped. She lived happily in the forest, keeping house for seven vertically challenged men and reducing their carbon footprint. But the wicked queen (disguised as an organic farmer) was able to fell the princess with a poisoned apple (certified All-Natural). Her short friends buried her in a solar paneled coffin, where she was found by a wandering princess from Nigeria, who awakened her with love's first kiss and spirited her away to an all-female kingdom, where they lived – well, you know.
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  #17  
Unread 08-20-2010, 12:06 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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THE THREE PIGS

Once upon a time there were three pigs interested in constructing environmentally friendly and sustainable houses. The first pig decided that the most commendable material to use was straw, which caused no pollution and was found in abundance throughout the world. The second felt that unprocessed wooden planks would be less intrusive on the ecosystem. The third pig opted for stone after reading an article about proper insulation.

One day, a wolf with a craving for raw pork came to town and easily blew down the straw house and ate the first pig. He then blew down the house of wood and ate the second pig. When he arrived at the stone house, however, he was no longer hungry, and so the third pig was spared.

Moral: It doesn’t matter what your house is made of. Just be the third pig.
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  #18  
Unread 08-20-2010, 12:52 PM
Donna English Donna English is offline
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Orwn, you have my favorite so far. Roger you're prolific, I like your latest one best. Gail, I like it, except for sand pink--how about if her name was Khaki?


Cinderella was this young gorgeous blonde that lived with her ugly psycho-bitch step-sisters and step-mother…oops, I mean blended family, who were constantly on her ass… oops, I mean lovingly urged her toward self improvement, when it came to her looks, her clothes, and they way she cleaned house for them. One day Cinderella heard about pick-up dance...uh, I mean, a ball at the palace where this hot…I mean, handsome, prince was going to pick some money hungry slut… uh, I mean socially aspiring, girl to marry. Cinderella wished she could go but she didn’t have anything to wear. Her fairy-godmother..wait..uh I mean gay?…no..I mean fairy-godperson... Oh, forget this shit ! Go to sleep, and quit whining, you little brat.
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  #19  
Unread 08-20-2010, 03:42 PM
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basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
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Default best laugh i've had since the pigs ate my brother

A terrific approach, Donna – exploiting the rubric, turning it around, adding some distance, giving a lively extra dimension to a fundamentally dull comp & as a bonus being able to include taboo stuff as well.
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  #20  
Unread 08-20-2010, 09:23 PM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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I echo what Bazza said, Donna. Shouldn't there be an 'a' before pick-up dance?
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