Lance, this poem captured my imagination, and I could not resist trying my own version of it. In doing so, I had to make some of the same decisions you have made, and I did not conclude that "abysses" was primarily an allusion to heraldry, but to hell. Likewise, I think the "brindelles" are twigs rather than branches, and since they are likened to red sins, one could imagine them as bloody switches with which Christ was beaten or as kindling for the fires of hell.
I feel a bit guilty at poaching on your territory, but I hate to pass up inspiration when it calls. I do not wish to compete with your own translation.
Susan
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