[Brian Allgar]

What criteria do you think the College of Cardinals should apply? Here's my suggestion:

Although we liked your piece on St Caecilia,
You’ve never joined the Mafia of Roma.
What’s more, you lack the requisite diploma -
A PhD in Higher Paedophilia.

[John Whitworth]

On Seeing the Wrong Sort of Smoke Issuing from the Curia

Pope?
Nope.

[Roger Slater]

A woman maybe? Someone black?
No, neither choice will do.
I'd really love to live in Rome,
So why not pick a Jew?

[Gail White]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

A woman maybe? Someone black?
No, neither choice will do.
I'd really love to live in Rome,
So why not pick a Jew?

The first Pope was a married Jew
So really, Roger, why not you?

[Seree Zohar]

heh heh! g'donya Gail!

[Michael Cantor]

Roger's Dream Poem

A puff of white is seen at last,
and headlines scream, incarnadine:
the white silk robes and gold ring passed
to Samuel Cardinal Silverstine.

[Jesse Anger]

Papal Duties

Descending on a shaft of light—
taking interest in the young,
issuing the sacrament
to the pink expectant tongue.

[Michael Cantor]

When the Cardinals Consider Their Votes

At first it was my idle dream,
but then a wild, wicked hope
that each will glance about and scheme...
and cast his vote for Putney Swope.

[Martin Parker]

Same old same old

A sight to make the buttocks clench --
the Sistine Chapel full
of cant, hypocricy and stench
of years more Papal bull.

[Brian Allgar]

Suffer the little children to come

I always kneel to read the psalter
So please elect me, I beseech;
Just think of all that I can teach
Those little boys behind the altar.