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Old 04-04-2015, 02:50 PM
Lorraine Pester Lorraine Pester is offline
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Old 04-07-2015, 04:39 AM
Sharon Passmore Sharon Passmore is offline
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Hi Lorraine,
I'm sorry but this piece falls short for me for a few reasons. The central figure is very ambiguous and poorly defined. Ambiguity is not necessarily a bad thing, but when paired with the two signs which are absolutely in focus and crisp, the figure becomes just confusion. The elements don't seem to go together. The signs stand out as a focal point and it should be the other way around. Are we seeing these signs through water? It doesn't look like it. Compare the contrast of the signs to the figure.

The use of texture fills and filters is very apparent. These are fine tools but they should be the beginning not the end. Take the water for example, this could be much more interesting.
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Old 04-08-2015, 12:20 AM
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Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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I am vaguely aware that a small city called Bikini Bottom is the main setting of the SpongeBob SquarePants television series...but I'm not familiar enough with the characters to venture a guess at which one this might be, or why he or she would be so visually distorted when the signs are not.

Conestoga wagons used to bear slogans like "Oregon or Bust" (loosely translated as "I've invested everything I own into this attempt to get to the Oregon Territory, and if I chicken out now I'll be bankrupt.") I can see how there might be a busty pun where bikinis are involved, but I don't know why someone would be so determined to get to Bikini Bottom that he or she would be making a sign to carry for inspiration.

I do like the abstract swirl of colors, per se.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:45 AM
Lorraine Pester Lorraine Pester is offline
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Sharon,
Thank you for commenting.

Julie,
This is not one of the SpongeBob SquarePants characters. He was born of my messing around with a photograph of a Bird of Paradise flower that I took a couple of years ago. He looked like he wanted to be swimming, in murky waters. My nephew is a big SpongeBob fan, and I immediately thought of Bikini Bottom for this little guy to crash. He wants to be part of the gang there, hence the sign. He'll swim his heart out to get there.
I'm beginning to think that my understanding of this sub-forum is incorrect. I thought, for some reason, that it was about visual creativity. I feel I'm wrong. Sharon wonders why there isn't more participation; are you looking for completed 'works of art' or are you looking for something 'outside the box?' And after Michael Cantor's comments over in Ross' thread, I don't know why anyone would try to participate in this sub-forum. I saw this as a way to show creativity in another venue besides writing; apparently not.
Thank you to everyone who has viewed my work here.
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Old 04-10-2015, 02:36 PM
Sharon Passmore Sharon Passmore is offline
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Lorraine, this is a workshop just like the poetry boards. Some people value critique as a means to improve their skills. Creativity, yes you have bucket loads, but that doesn't automatically make everything a work of art. I can't bring myself to lie and say "oh, wow how perfect." If something falls short it just does, despite any creativity and potential. Are you not willing to put in the work in and continue with this piece?

Consider the huge quantities of re-writes that take place on the poetry boards. The poets put in the effort and as a result many many of our Eratosphereans are getting published. This is what Erato is all about.

I can't answer for other people's behavior here either, short of closing threads.
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Old 04-10-2015, 07:28 PM
Lorraine Pester Lorraine Pester is offline
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Sharon,
I have misunderstood the intent; I was part of another writing forum that included art and it had different expectations. I am thankful to be set straight, and will post only workshop-worthy pieces. I apologize and thank everyone for their tolerance.
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