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  #11  
Old 11-04-2017, 12:51 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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I liked your "conjectures," Allen.
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  #12  
Old 11-06-2017, 03:08 PM
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AZ Foreman AZ Foreman is offline
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One last idea:

"The unexpected comes about"

This makes it metrically identical to the following fullrhymed line, and gives a nice clinching close.
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  #13  
Old 11-06-2017, 06:12 PM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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Very good, from my corner.
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Old 11-06-2017, 06:39 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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I like it too.
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Old 11-06-2017, 07:55 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Daaaaahhh! AZ, that's perfect. I now owe you AND Andrew S a percentage of the royalties. I was hoping to be able to retire off this thing.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thanks to you gentlemen for recognizing that AZ's suggestion is the one.

Best,

Aaron
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  #16  
Old 11-06-2017, 09:25 PM
Andrew Szilvasy Andrew Szilvasy is offline
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It is. I hope the performance goes well (wish I could see it) and that this finds a publisher.
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