Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Unread 04-23-2019, 06:35 AM
Michael F's Avatar
Michael F Michael F is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: a foothill of the Catskills
Posts: 968
Default

A pleasure, Julie. Thank you for bringing this remarkable essay to my attention.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Unread 04-23-2019, 10:59 PM
Julie Steiner's Avatar
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 6,111
Default

You're very welcome. I'm much indebted to you for the corrections.

I've since made a few other tweaks in orange, if you'd like to take a quick peek at those.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Unread 04-24-2019, 07:08 AM
Michael F's Avatar
Michael F Michael F is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: a foothill of the Catskills
Posts: 968
Default

I like ‘clockwork’. But ‘hace equilibrios’ is an expression meaning ‘does a balancing act’, which I like more in English than ‘forms a pair of scales’ -- that maybe makes things too explicit.

‘The slender-fingered hands are curved to uphold’ works for me. Maybe ‘support’ for ‘uphold’? I can sorta see the whole hand has forming a ‘hook’, even if not quite closing as you’d expect a hook to. Anyway, I understand your puzzlement and I think what you have works.

M

Last edited by Michael F; 04-24-2019 at 06:16 PM. Reason: better said
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Unread 04-24-2019, 11:11 AM
Julie Steiner's Avatar
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 6,111
Default

Thanks again, Michael! Additional tweaks to that section (here) in green.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Unread 04-24-2019, 06:38 PM
Michael F's Avatar
Michael F Michael F is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: a foothill of the Catskills
Posts: 968
Default

I tempered my comment above FYI. It was clumsy, the beginning.

The last section of the essay is amazing.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,017
Total Threads: 19,936
Total Posts: 255,174
There are 422 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online