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  #1  
Unread 02-21-2020, 07:22 AM
Rick Mullin's Avatar
Rick Mullin Rick Mullin is offline
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Underworld

That year I blew through Moby Dick and read
whatever I could find by Wells and Verne.
I read To Kill a Mockingbird in bed.
The Summer of 42, I thought I’d learn
a thing or two. OK, I learned a thing.
Like Thirty Seconds over Tokyo
(the book) is so much better than the movie.
I finally figured out Pinocchio.
I wore a Nehru jacket, yellow-groovy.
Listen, I was all about meandering
through all the things that kept my buddy Ben’s
big sister dancing at the local pool,
the juke box blowing Motown through the lens
of some bikini light show outta school
where everybody gets a chance to sing.

Rello’s Swim Club, 1972


"after" to "skipping" in line 13
.

Last edited by Rick Mullin; 02-26-2020 at 08:28 PM.
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Unread 02-21-2020, 08:16 AM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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Ah, yes! Diana Ross and The (forgive me!) Supines. I heard them on recordings once or twice. As a child I even owned a 45 rpm player. Were you groovy?

Now itís RBG and The Supremes.
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  #3  
Unread 02-21-2020, 10:01 AM
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Catherine Chandler Catherine Chandler is offline
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Were you too young for Woodstock? I can readily imagine you reading all those books, but definitely cannot see you in a yellow Nehru jacket (there's an "h" in there, BTW). I think I misunderstand L13. Did you attend summer school? I like the sonnet. It's fun. Brings back memories.
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Unread 02-21-2020, 10:22 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Fun. Love the Tokyo/Pinnochio rhyme.
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  #5  
Unread 02-21-2020, 11:51 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
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Hi Rick,

This is really fun and breezy, nostalgic but sharp. The rhymes are a pleasure. There’s an ‘American Graffiti’/‘Last Picture Show’, fading light, fading innocence vibe, I suppose. Which is very nice.

Two things: at L7, would ‘the book’ make more sense and maybe just parenthesised between commas, rather than brackets?

As often with your poems, I happily google stuff. The coming-of-age movie and book ‘The Summer of 42’ (which I didn’t know) didn’t come out till 1971. *

Mark

* I suppose you could justify the anachronism thematically. The shifting slipperiness of memories and all that.

Last edited by Mark McDonnell; 02-21-2020 at 01:44 PM.
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Unread 02-21-2020, 03:10 PM
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Rick Mullin Rick Mullin is offline
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Thanks folks.

Mark, I should Google my work more often ~,:^) I think I read Moby Dick in '69, but it was '72, now that I think about it, that I read Summer of 42. So, I changed the footnote. I noticed your asterisk after writing this. That's true. It occurred to me that I could change it to "I'd" instead of "I".

Hi Catherine. I should have thought of the school's out problem. Not sure it's bad enough, because the pool did open before school let out, as I recall. Thinking about it. Maybe "out of school," which might work for Pinocchio, who actually skipped school.

Hi Roger. I'm glad you like that particular line. Nothing else rhymes with Tokyo--luckily the wooden boy's adventures works pretty well here. He's kind of essential to the poem at this point. Working in form got me there! I really started with a few lines about reading books during a year when I all of the sudden became voracious, especially with Jules Verne. And I did read Moby Dick,... for some reason.

Allen, I was fab and groovy.

Thanks again, folks,
Rick

Last edited by Rick Mullin; 02-21-2020 at 03:12 PM.
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  #7  
Unread 02-21-2020, 08:50 PM
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Mary Meriam Mary Meriam is offline
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I like it, Rick. Two crits above you may have overlooked: it's Nehru with an h, and "(the book)" sounds better than "(a book)". The poem reminds me I feel nostalgic for '72, a year I also blew through a bunch of books. Those were the days. Especially like these lines:

through all the things that kept my buddy Benís
big sister dancing at the local pool,
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  #8  
Unread 02-22-2020, 06:00 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
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through all the things that kept my buddy Ben’s
big sister dancing at the local pool,


Yes, I love these lines too. Would it be too bouncy to have her 'bopping'? Probably ha.

I was born in 72! I blew through a bunch of nappies that year. 'I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing' by The New Seekers was no. 1 in the UK chart. Apparently.
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Unread 02-22-2020, 07:11 AM
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Andrew Mandelbaum Andrew Mandelbaum is offline
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Pinocchio is what makes this piece work for me. I would try to make that school bit echo off of the puppet-boy. Give the poem more strings being cut. No complaints really, just the push for what more might be dug out.
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  #10  
Unread 02-22-2020, 09:18 AM
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Rick Mullin Rick Mullin is offline
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Thanks Mary, Mark and Andrew.

Yes, Andrew. Pinocchio didn't go out and play after school, he skipped school. I also like "skipping" with "dancing" and "sing"ing.


Mark, sorry I initially missed your comment. Number one the day I was born was "Jailhouse Rock."

Last edited by Rick Mullin; 02-22-2020 at 10:32 AM.
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