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  #1  
Unread 01-10-2020, 02:48 PM
Jan Iwaszkiewicz's Avatar
Jan Iwaszkiewicz Jan Iwaszkiewicz is offline
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Default Scarifaction

Mute Elation

In mute elation I’ll perform
the sweet aggressions that unstrike
the dumbness from my skin. Each corm
here coiled and poised to sunder like
a fiddle fern in Spring. A Braille
inscribed by needle, knife and nail.

Come here to me, while I undress.
The dark is comforting tonight.
I want to feel your soft caress
while we are hidden from the light.
I want to have you feel not see
this flesh, uncertain that it's me.

Last edited by Jan Iwaszkiewicz; 01-14-2020 at 07:55 PM. Reason: Titling
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  #2  
Unread 01-10-2020, 06:39 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Jan, "corm" takes me out of the poem momentarily because I find it puzzling. I think of a corm in terms of a crocus bulb, so I picture a large round bump. Is that what you want me to picture? I can't quite convert that corm to a fern, so I remain puzzled. I know that people who self-mutilate often will have rows of scars, so I can see some similarity to a fern, but the corm still puzzles me. I think commas would help in "feel, not see," in S2L5.

Susan
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  #3  
Unread 01-11-2020, 11:54 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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You open with two oxymorons and what almost sounds like a double negative. It's very hard for me to get into the poem, especially when I hit "corm."
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  #4  
Unread 01-12-2020, 04:10 AM
Jan Iwaszkiewicz's Avatar
Jan Iwaszkiewicz Jan Iwaszkiewicz is offline
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Hello Susan the asparagus fern has corms (the fiddle coiled ready to spring forth) so yes to the bump.

My housekeeping has always been dodgy I will put that comma in.

Thank you

Hello Sam, elation is a massive hunk of happiness and exhilaration and it does not have sound as a requisite "mute elation" is just a play nothing more it definitely is not an oxymoron. As to the second oxymoron again I question. 'sweet aggression' may seem so, but definitely not to N.

The double negative loses me.

Regards,

Jan
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Unread 01-12-2020, 04:54 AM
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I had been reading the title as "Scarification" and it made sense on several levels. Now I see it isn't, and it doesn't. I shall go back and try to see it anew.
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  #6  
Unread 01-12-2020, 06:27 AM
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My fault Ann

In line with mute elation it is Scary faction and I have no idea my brain was seeing when it saw what I had posted when it obviously should not have seen.
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Unread 01-12-2020, 07:32 AM
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That's good. Now I can go back to the nicking of corms so as to force them into growth, the finding of the exact place, the excision as opportunity.
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Unread 01-12-2020, 07:34 AM
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Andrew Mandelbaum Andrew Mandelbaum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan Iwaszkiewicz View Post
My fault Ann

In line with mute elation it is Scary faction and I have no idea my brain was seeing when it saw what I had posted when it obviously should not have seen.
Huh? The Title is Scary faction?

I also read it as scarification. In this read we had a skin branded by ritual, self-therapy, or accident (we don't know which) on the narrator. These scars have accumulated over time because they are written by multiple instruments (needle, knife and nail). The corm business does push the image to a more keloid form of scar. The phrase "unstrike the dumbness from my skin" is hard to parse. The skin was struck dumb. Speechless? This skin speaks in braille so the scars give this skin its words...I think? The sweet aggressions are writing messages in scar.

Now I maybe begin to see the fiddlehead. A spiral scar, similar to certain ritual markings I have seen in photos. But sunder is maybe the word that throws me. I don't like the image hear of these scar words, this braille written in sweet aggression splitting apart.

The final line confuse me a bit. In the dark, wouldn'r such scars be more distinguishing, more one of a kind, and less likely to allow confusion of identity between lovers. Interesting poem.
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  #9  
Unread 01-12-2020, 08:43 AM
Matt Q Matt Q is online now
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Hi Jan,

I enjoyed this. The elation and the sweetness seem to speak, in literal terms, of the endorphin high, while suggesting another kind of joy at work. "unstrike the dumbness of the skin" suggests the reversing the skin's stuck-dumbness, and consequently, to me at least, the bringing back of feeling to the N's own numbness.

The corm suggests a raised welt that's poised to split open into something resembling a fern (or maybe it just looks like it's poised to do this?). I was less clear on how this image pans out in literal terms, but I'm also not up on how welts/burns turn into scars so possibly I'm missing something about the process. Or perhaps it the fern shape grows by repeated application? The first welt resembles a corm and when he's done making more he's made a fern-like pattern? And perhaps he cuts though an existing raised scar and that's how its sundered?

I like the way poem turns in the second stanza, which I initially took to be address the beloved. I like the double read at the end: Either the beloved is uncertain that the skin being felt is the N's -- or is even skin -- due to its scarification, or the skin itself is uncertain whether it is the N (now that it's been transformed). And rereading, I then wonder if the whole second stanza might be addressed to the skin and not a person, which I think adds something to the poem.

Like Andrew, I'm a little uncertain from your comment what the title of the poem is.

best,

Matt
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  #10  
Unread 01-12-2020, 08:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale View Post
That's good. Now I can go back to the nicking of corms so as to force them into growth, the finding of the exact place, the excision as opportunity.
Tell me more about this nicking of corms. Is this what that line is about?
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