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  #1  
Unread 01-18-2020, 12:53 AM
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin's Avatar
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin Duncan Gillies MacLaurin is offline
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Default Ice cream

Ice cream/I scream

Honesty pink line Ukraine
yawn ecstasy disguise.
Ice cream. Juicy disdain?
Mice creaming cauterise.

Title extended

Last edited by Duncan Gillies MacLaurin; 01-19-2020 at 04:32 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 01-18-2020, 05:55 AM
Orwn Acra's Avatar
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Umbrella feather boa
cataract Iran.
I had a chicken schwarma once.
Eclair is spelled Úlan.
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  #3  
Unread 01-18-2020, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orwn Acra View Post
Umbrella feather boa
cataract Iran.
I had a chicken schwarma once.
Eclair is spelled Úlan.
I believe the line is

I'll have a chicken schwarma, Noah.


It does read a bit like random word generation with minor parameters, Duncan
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  #4  
Unread 01-18-2020, 09:12 AM
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It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that swing.
Yours doesn't swing, Duncan. It limps, dragging words behind it.

I've always been a fan of "pure" surrealist writing that creates the illusion of meaning by the allure of its bottomless depth. Those who dislike that sort of thing will say it is too easy to execute, but when they try to do it they find out that such lexical sleights-of-hand have an inexplicable grace or measure whose mechanisms are nearly impossible to counterfeit without deep conviction. I think Orwn comes closer to outwitting bottomlessness through cleverness, but cleverness is not necessarily the secret to the grand escape from traditional meaning. Anyway, you need, Duncan, in my humble opinion, much more exercise in loosening and limbering up you mind before you achieve much success with this approach. Forgetting everything one has learned about writing can be a daunting task.

Nemo
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  #5  
Unread 01-18-2020, 11:12 AM
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin's Avatar
Duncan Gillies MacLaurin Duncan Gillies MacLaurin is offline
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Thanks for responding. I guess I need more than the title to alert the reader to the fact that there is a hidden meaning:

On a steep incline you crane
your necks to see the skies.
I scream. Do you see this Dane?
My screaming caught her eyes.

Duncan
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  #6  
Unread 01-18-2020, 11:21 AM
Andrew Mandelbaum's Avatar
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Wait...
Does Walter's do that too?

Is the original with the Dane a thing from somewhere?

I guess the problem is without the original or a rule to call the game in session it reads, like we mistook it, as nonsense. To me anyway.

But fun game. It is like that ICDB book but with phonemes.
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Unread 01-18-2020, 12:40 PM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkGhg4Q77hk
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  #8  
Unread 01-18-2020, 04:04 PM
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Honesty pink line Ukraine
yawn ecstasy disguise.
Ice cream. Juicy disdain?
Mice creaming cauterise.

I am utterly flummoxed, Duncan!!!

Is it me? What does it mean? I'm clearly missing something... and neither your latest or the other posts shed any light. My brain remains befuddled.

Jayne
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Unread 01-18-2020, 05:41 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Jayne, the idea is that if you ignore cadence and meaning you can pronounce the original post the same way as Duncan has translated it in his subsequent post. In this particular instance, I don't think there's much point to it, since the hidden poem isn't really saying anything interesting, but the gimmick that Duncan has employed is one that could be humorous in other contexts,I believe. Not really as a poem but as pure wordplay.
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  #10  
Unread 01-18-2020, 06:08 PM
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Oh... I get it, and Annie's link makes sense now.

Thanks for the enlightenment, Bob. I've had a very stressful day (my granddaughter is 7 months pregnant and has just had to have an emergency appendectomy!).

My brain can't cope with this kind of ''hidden message'', Duncan, sorry.

Jayne
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