Belated thanks for your comments on this. And yes, it'd be great to see more traffic here.
When you say, "P2 conjoins the flashback with the present and then "later still" can you tell me how you're reading this. I'm intending P2 to all be flashback. In the present she sits at the kitchen table. Frank losing his temper and Frank repairing the wall are all in the past. Are you reading this differently, or I am just misunderstanding your comment?
And yes, maybe I can shorted the clock ticking sentence. But would the setnence seem more balanced for you if I reordered it like this?:
On the wall behind her, the clock ticks the passing of time, but she does not hear it.