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  #1  
Unread 04-04-2020, 07:06 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Default The Pestilence

The Pestilence

Here in America: old masks, miasma.
We live for futures, for survivors’ plasma.
A televangelist prescribes cayenne,

while in the Old World a Medieval menace
depopulates Milan, Verona, Venice.
The Pope has blessed an empty square. Amen.

Whom can we smear or scapegoat since this fever
strikes both the infidel and the believer?
Death is an integer on CNN.

Wild mouths proclaim the End is Come, while wiser
gasbags advise six feet and sanitizer.
The president is talking shit again.

I am alone here, and I want to chasten
those eight geese massed around the water basin.
They fly off, heedless of the pathogen.
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  #2  
Unread 04-04-2020, 07:11 PM
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Quincy Lehr Quincy Lehr is offline
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It’s pretty good, more proper nouns than you have in this vein sometimes, though the “plasma” line is a bit maladroit and “gasbags” is off-tone. It’s a nice ending, too, clever without being glib. Better than anything I’ve ever done? Doubtful. But I can see why you’re pleased with it.

Last edited by Quincy Lehr; 04-04-2020 at 07:35 PM.
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Unread 04-04-2020, 11:20 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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This is not quite as good as anything you have ever written, Aaron.
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Unread 04-04-2020, 11:28 PM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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Deletissimo.

Last edited by Allen Tice; 04-05-2020 at 02:46 PM.
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  #5  
Unread 04-05-2020, 04:59 PM
Max Goodman Max Goodman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quincy Lehr View Post
Better than anything I’ve ever done? Doubtful.
I think several postings on this thread have been deleted, removing the context for this comment and possibly making sound very different than it was meant.

If I went around telling poets that what they were posting wasn't better than anything I had ever done, it would reflect poorly on me. It feels unfair to Quincy to leave this comment there without the exchange from which it grew.
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Unread 04-05-2020, 05:36 PM
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Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Quote:
I think several postings on this thread have been deleted...
Max,

Only one post has been deleted on this thread, and that was Allen's. He deleted it himself (it was an unintelligible comment, anyway, so I guess Allen thought better of it!). The quote you referenced sprang from an exchange on another thread, which has now been removed.

Jayne
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Unread 04-09-2020, 06:21 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is online now
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This is really good, Aaron. I wasn't going to comment since you think I suck and don't care about my opinion, but what the hell. I'm attempting in lockdown to learn the harmonica and transcend all negative human emotion. Both going OK!
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Unread 04-09-2020, 08:04 AM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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I still owe Aaron for help in ultra-fine tuning two translations from early Greek. Thanks again. So I wonder if the newly emergent scene of the geese outdoors at the end might be bettered by a different word than “water,” such as “fountain.” What I deleted was a synonym matter.

Steady on everybody, as best you can. And be hygienic!
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