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03-21-2014, 01:49 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
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Spectator Comp 2675 asked for off-putting blurbs for well-known works of fiction. This time, it seems that we're invited to play on a somewhat larger stage. As far as I can see, we're free to blurb an existing title, or we can make one up.
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03-21-2014, 01:54 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Fife
Posts: 729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris O'Carroll
Spectator Comp 2675 asked for off-putting blurbs for well-known works of fiction. This time, it seems that we're invited to play on a somewhat larger stage. As far as I can see, we're free to blurb an existing title, or we can make one up.
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Ah! I hadn't thought of blurbing actual works. Hmmm...
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03-21-2014, 02:27 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Wiltshire, UK
Posts: 1,514
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Making one up is certainly more fun. Dream Diary of an Oswestry Butcher anyone?
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03-22-2014, 01:12 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Wiltshire, UK
Posts: 1,514
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Bin Laden: The Anthropology of Refuse Collection Practises in England is the hilariously titled and consequently entirely accessible new study from Canadian waste management guru Bob Travage. Within its 947 pages, Travage describes, compares, contrasts and evaluates the benefits of having refuse collected on each day of the working week and provides an invaluable guide to the type, number and colour of receptacles in which domestic waste is collected.
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03-22-2014, 03:41 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Belfast, Maine
Posts: 1,306
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Circumcision For Dummies
If you’re a man who's had the misfortune to be born a Gentile, and was delivered by a hippie or hillbilly doctor, but desire a neatly trimmed male organ, this book is for you. It will save you big bucks, as well as snarky comments in the coffee-break room of your local hospital.
Amateur auto-circumcision can be done with tools found in a typical home woodworking shop, or utensils from any well equipped kitchen.
With over 250 color photographs of actual home circumcisions, this step-by-step guide will prevent your circumcision from becoming “the unkindest cut of all”.
Last edited by Douglas G. Brown; 03-23-2014 at 07:21 PM.
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03-24-2014, 01:23 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Wiltshire, UK
Posts: 1,514
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What if, instead of being born to a life of privilege, power and outstanding political achievement, Winston Churchill had been a bicycle? In this groundbreaking work of speculative counterhistory, historian and cyclist Nigel Nadgery explores the alternate possibilities thrown up by this thrilling thought experiment. His account of a British wartime government led into defeat by Lord Halifax in the absence of a more hawkish presence is as meticulously guessed at as his wholly imagined biography of a Churchill manufactured in Nottingham and ridden by errand boys until sold for scrap in 1943.
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03-24-2014, 01:54 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: lancashire
Posts: 1,090
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Another heartbreaker
Always the problem with this one is finding the balance. Pick something madly remote & esoteric & the weirdness becomes itself a point of reader interest. Go for the trite & mundane & you risk losing the element of piquancy or wit that wins money.
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03-24-2014, 03:48 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Wiltshire, UK
Posts: 1,514
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Henri Gastronaut's Coprophilous Cookbook is the first and best guide to the consumption of faeces available today. Armed only with his copy of the invaluable Bristol Stool Chart and an iron constitution, Gastronaut, taking inspiration from Rabalais and Sade, samples excrement of every available colour and consistency, experimenting to find the perfect accompaniment to his chosen main course and discussesing the relative merits of warm over tepid ordure.
I can't go on.
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03-24-2014, 06:32 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,475
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The author spent twenty years in a coma. This is her story, so vividly told you will feel you are in a coma right alongside her.
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03-30-2014, 09:10 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Wiltshire, UK
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Whether you know Timmy Tring for his wacky work as sidekick on the Radio 1 Brunchtime Banana Show in the 1990s or for his more recent pronouncements as the Ultimate Incarnation of the God Hrath of the Galactic Castractile Hordes, this book will prove a revelation. In a candid autobiography, Timmy describes life adjacent to the epicentre of British pre-teen pop comedy radio, at last reveals the secret of how he perfected the voice for zany comic character Mr Trouserhead and hilariously lifts the lid on what Steve Coogan liked for lunch. Running eerily parallel to this madcap tale of showbiz success is the epic struggle of the Castractile Hordes to reach out across sixty trillion miles of space with mind rays to deify Timmy and turn his every utterance into Truth in a bid to have him establish a Galactic Reich against the implacable opposition of the Insidious Jews.
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