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  #11  
Unread 03-27-2014, 12:45 PM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Since Lucy says Wilde is OK, and wilde is not a word, then she allows such things as wildebeest, wilderness and even perhaps wild elephant. Anyway I m going to presume that she does, otherwise it's quite boring.
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  #12  
Unread 03-27-2014, 09:00 PM
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Douglas G. Brown Douglas G. Brown is offline
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Default The Infallible TV Cook

Martha Stewart never burns
The meat that she is browning;
The viewing public quickly learns
That she’s not one for clowning.

When she prepares a gourmet feast
Of moose or antelope,
Or porcupine or wildebeest,
This dame knows how to cope.

She bridges country club to hood
Of grimy inner city
For magic that she works with food;
But Martha’s seldom witty.

Now Martha’s getting old and gray
And moves in slower motion;
Like every dog, she’s had her day,
But keeps her fans' devotion.

Last edited by Douglas G. Brown; 03-28-2014 at 08:31 AM. Reason: small tweaks
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  #13  
Unread 03-28-2014, 05:00 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvia Fairley View Post
I thought I'd try to weave wildebeest into the narrative. What do you think? Will I get away with it? It might rather limit the subject matter!
That was my first thought too, no doubt because I've recently been writing limericks about wildebeest, a.k.a. gnu!
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  #14  
Unread 03-29-2014, 09:45 AM
Graham King Graham King is offline
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A tasty serving, Douglas!
May I re-order?
(I've also swapped Though for But, and have suggested changes to punctuation throughout to suit the New Word Order. Should hood be 'hood?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas G. Brown View Post
Now Martha’s getting old and gray
And moves in slower motion;
Like every dog, she’s had her day,
But keeps her fans' devotion

For magic that she works with food
(Though Martha’s seldom witty);
She bridges country club to hood
Of grimy inner city.

Martha Stewart never burns
The meat that she is browning;
The viewing public quickly learns
That she’s not one for clowning.

When she prepares a gourmet feast
Of moose or antelope,
Of porcupine or wildebeest -
This dame knows how to cope!
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  #15  
Unread 03-29-2014, 05:03 PM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
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I prayed for raine last week and now the garden’s almost drowning,
The wash has turned my garments’ hughes to gray.
Each slice of bread I try and toast just burns instead of browning,
I simply cannot cope with life today.

My bridges fallen out, so I must schedule an appointment
And spender hundred pounds to get it donne.
Woddis my faulty telly but a source of disappointment?
(I’d love to have a bit of tennyson.)

My car goes clatter constantly whenever it’s in motion.
The likelihood’s I’ve woodworm in my chair.
This patten of frustration propagates the wildest notion
That someone’s goethe beef with me up there.

I give myself no ayres, I know my shortcummings are many,
But not all that apaulin. I’m a bloke
Who merits very little in the way of woe, if any,
So no moore, please! It’s gone beyond a joke.

Last edited by Rob Stuart; 03-30-2014 at 06:59 PM.
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  #16  
Unread 03-30-2014, 11:25 AM
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Douglas G. Brown Douglas G. Brown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham King View Post
A tasty serving, Douglas!
May I re-order?
(I've also swapped Though for But, and have suggested changes to punctuation throughout to suit the New Word Order. Should hood be 'hood?)
Graham, you have the makings of a great editor! Your restructuring of my Martha piece improves it vastly, giving it a bit of a dramatic build-up (I suspect I'm a bit dyslectic; I had trouble with all that "left foot, right foot" business at ROTC in college).
And, 'hood does make for less ambiguity. I only hear this usage in films and on recordings.

Seldom does the occasion arise to put a moose, an antelope, a porcupine, and a wildebeest in ths same piece of verse.

Last edited by Douglas G. Brown; 03-30-2014 at 11:29 AM.
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  #17  
Unread 03-31-2014, 09:43 AM
Jim Hayes Jim Hayes is offline
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Cummings and Gowerings

The bishop, a long fellow, woken by
a singing lark in a clear blue sky

heard a wild eyed tomcat’s feeble mew
outdoors, -it could not cope he knew

with frost and snow now slushy gray-
what mann put it out that savage day?

He brought it in where a warm fire burns
in one swift motion the cleric turns

to the aiken cat and says it’s good
that it’s so hardy and lays his hood

beneath its head saying I addison
in hope it bridges, when I've donne,

two thoreau, blunt, and bitter factions.
(No word’s worth more than kindly actions.)

But the sexton, with his gunn and crying “No moore !”
gothe the cat with a browning 44.

Last edited by Jim Hayes; 04-01-2014 at 04:54 AM.
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  #18  
Unread 03-31-2014, 12:26 PM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Splendid shot, Jim.
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  #19  
Unread 04-10-2014, 06:27 AM
Graham King Graham King is offline
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Laughter and grins ensued from pieces above, both for their imagination and the liberties taken!

I don't know if mine below can be considered at all amusing. The odd rhyme scheme is a mirroring, the end from the beginning: abcdefghhgfedcba.


He motions to his officers. She turns
(His first command- his sober pride and joy!)
To head beneath the bridges for the sea
From dockyard refit: sleek, this submarine,
And powerful with atoms’ harnessed hearts.
Peaked cap; gaze brown; ingenious brain; skills, art;
Are these what mark his captaincy, or was
That caught from Dad, who coped in war, on Hood?
So bold an inspiration taught he could
Recapture what gave this small boy a buzz
Through pleasures naval life shall now impart:
Efficient hull, harmonious dutied parts,
Sea-wilderness horizon (rough? serene?)
Fair strange, as Captain, to recall how he
Reached this career from playing with that toy -
A model Stingray sub, in Scotland’s burns!
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  #20  
Unread 04-10-2014, 06:34 AM
Graham King Graham King is offline
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‘We’re known as Emo’s - from emotion, see?’
- As if they, only, had to cope with feeling!
It drives me wild, each tribe’s idolatry
Of its own notions. Scrape me off the ceiling!
Sci-fi fancy-dressing: ray-gun mock-ups,
Flashy clothes - for grown-ups? Gordon Bless Me!
Laugh, or cry, at such outlandish get-ups?
(Furry cosplayers: Don’t dare caress me!)
At least some wanton fads have waned and faded;
The neighbourhood must suffer less from punk -
Whatever its appeal, then, now seems jaded:
The torn togs, piercing pins… and smell of skunk.
I used to really dig each scene - All right! -
But swamp-dwell now; my blood-brothers are midges.
A browning-off of one who once shone bright?
Call me a man who boldly burns his bridges.


My walk-on Extras: gordon, landis, ayers, hone. Arguable, maybe?
(Adam Lindsay) Gordon was a poet several of whose works were set to music by Elgar.
(Joan Hutton) Landis is a published poet.
(Dr. Vivian Elizabeth) Ayers was a Pulitzer Prize-nominated poet/playwright.
Hone (Tuwhare), a Maori poet, in 1991 was named New Zealand's second Te Mata Poet Laureate.
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