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03-17-2007, 08:53 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,168
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But, David, they have to be nunsensical. And, personally, I think it's cheating if you simply take an old classic and insert a nun, or I'd drive you all nuts with stuff like:
A nun, after three weeks at sea,
complained that it hurt her to pee.
Said a brawny third mate,
"That accounts for the fate
of the cook and the Captain and me."
We must be original. So I'd vote for Roger's Agnes poem, which doesn't rely on a geographic location for a rhyme, contains a basically inane notion, is not as offensive as most of the others, and ends with a truly disgraceful pun, a pun so bad that it carries its own air of grandeur.
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03-17-2007, 09:46 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 608
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"Now, children," the nun said, "be nice.
When it comes to hot sex, we are ice.
You could use us in hell
For a cooling off spell,
And in drinks, with a fresh lemon slice."
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03-18-2007, 08:26 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,476
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The Book Of Revelation
A priest who was dating a sister
was happy enough when he kissed her,
... but later, in bed,
... said, "Lord strike me dead!"
when he learned that the nun was a mister.
[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited March 20, 2007).]
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03-18-2007, 12:53 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Winooski VT, USA (on the edge of Burlington)
Posts: 309
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Sister Sarah was full of ambition
and offered a bold proposition
to each infidel:
I can save you from hell
with the old missionary position.
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03-18-2007, 12:56 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Winooski VT, USA (on the edge of Burlington)
Posts: 309
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There once was a world-weary nun
who said every trick has been done.
I can pull out a rabbit
from under my habit.
There's nothing new under the sun.
[This message has been edited by Toni Clark (edited March 18, 2007).]
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03-19-2007, 07:09 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Outside Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,028
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Toni,
I wonder if John Milton's standby pun won't be appropriate in your final line: There's nothing new under the Son.
Marcia
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03-19-2007, 07:58 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Winooski VT, USA (on the edge of Burlington)
Posts: 309
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Oh Marcia! That is tooo good! Of course! Thanks.
Toni
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03-19-2007, 11:06 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,740
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A senior nun from Algeria
remarked to her son, “You’re far wearier
from being on top —
so why don’t we swop
and fuck with the mother superior?”
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03-19-2007, 02:58 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,476
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A crazy old priest claimed he heard
God's voice when his pussycat purred.
..... The nuns made a bee-line
..... to speak with the feline,
but the cat would not utter a word.
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03-19-2007, 07:23 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,168
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Henry -
That's disgusting, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
Can't you see that the meter is off in L1? Try "middle-aged" or "sensual" or "fortyish" instead of "senior".
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