[David Anthony]

Outstanding poem.
'coat buttoned up as tight as grief'--you don't see better writing than that.

[David Rosenthal]

This is beautiful. It is first of all utterly convincing. I do not have any personal connections or associations to the action described in the title or the specific smells described in the first line, but I totally believe N does from the first. And the language is impeccable. The couplet is as good as they come. Also the rhymes are brilliantly done, in part because of the enjambments, which I personally find effective and well-crafted.

David R.

[Susan McLean]

I just taught Jane Eyre again, and this poem captures the same power of remembered childish pain and despair. The wording is simple and direct, full of the one-syllable words that carry more than their weight in emotion. The departures--"Colosseum," "Stalag"--are powerful links to a history of torment and suffering. This is a poem I won't soon forget.

Susan

[John Hutchcraft]

When I first read this a few weeks ago, I was blown away. It wears well on continued readings, too. Fantastic sonics, terrific rhetorical command, and along with all the formal control, a story to tell and, well, a lot of heart. I think this is my favorite of the lot.

[Simon Hunt]

This one's my favorite, too, at least for now. If it were mine (I wish), I might drop the couplet by a line.

[Quincy Lehr]

Beautiful. But while the poem's title provides some necessary context, I wonder if there could be some tweaking to get it a bit more evocative. Because it isn't exactly harming the poem at presence, but nor is it helping it especially.

Quincy

[Tim Murphy]

Easily my first choice this year.

[Carol Taylor]

This one is leading the pack for me so far. I do have trouble with Stalag Kent. Isn't Kent in England and nowhere near the Dead Sea?

Carol

[Rose Kelleher]

It's the Dead Sea mud's smell that triggers the narrator's memory of Kent, which is near the sea.


[This message has been edited by Rose Kelleher (edited May 05, 2008).]

[Maryann Corbett]

The title adds an important layer: Dead Sea mud is used as a facial mask. Googling seems to confirm that it's purchased as a cosmetic. It's something one might indulge in as part of a spa experience--which is related to, but very different from, the N's childhood convalescence. If we read the title and know that the N. was expecting something pleasurable, but was suddenly reminded by the smell of a time of childhood pain, our re-experiencing of the feeling behind the poem gets larger.

I'm glad Quincy raised the question, or I might not have thought about this.