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Old 12-23-2017, 12:17 PM
Felicity Teague's Avatar
Felicity Teague Felicity Teague is offline
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 145

Hi Rob,

You're welcome! Sorry it's all been a bit 'bitesize' so far; I’ll try to keep up with any revisions.

Best wishes,
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Old 01-03-2018, 04:50 PM
Ken Brownlow Ken Brownlow is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: by the river
Posts: 90

Hello Rob

Forgive me for enjoying your tale of suffering; it is harrowing, forgive me again if I say the writing is clinical, the story is believable I found myself being drawn in, in a personal way.

I agree with Johanna about the personification of pain, if thatís the correct word, I also like the Ďlong fatí in the throat, given the situation you were in I reckon it would feel very fat and long.

You end S5 with your wife calling and then no more about that, I wasnít sure if youíre using that leave off as a device or if you come back to the phone call later in the book.

I like the sense of disorientation, the bumpy flow of time and the sudden impressions that run throughout the story.

Looking forward to reading more about your stay in the big house.

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Old 01-07-2018, 06:20 AM
Rob Wright Rob Wright is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Philadelphia PA, U.S.A.
Posts: 769


First let me offer a warm welcome, not only to the Sphere itself, where I hope you will make many friends and share with us your words and ideas, but to the Fiction Forum itself. It has been sadly quiet here for a little while and I really appreciate having comments from new members here. Please visit us often.

And thank you for your comments. Which I found most helpful and encouraging. I particularly liked your response to the section on – yes, personification is the right wordBANNED POST– pain. And yes, the wife mentioned in the narration returns later in the story.

Once more, welcome and thank you. Oh, and don't worry about enjoying witnessing the pain of the narrator. I assure you it's quite an old and respectable habit. Charley Chaplin, Evelyn Waugh, Shakespeare (among others) have turned the practice into an art. I can only hope to follow feebly.
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Old 01-09-2018, 10:14 PM
Ken Brownlow Ken Brownlow is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: by the river
Posts: 90

Rob, thank you for the welcome, it is appreciated.
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