[Shekhar Aiyar]

Received the following by e-mail the other day, and thought people here may get a kick out of it - some of the following haikus are really very clever:

"Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows or DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been, until now, an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry. "

The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:
>
> A file that big?
> It might be very useful.
> But now it is gone.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Windows NT crashed.
> I am the Blue Screen of Death.
> No one hears your screams.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> The Web site you seek
> cannot be located but
> endless others exist
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> A crash reduces
> your expensive computer
> to a simple stone.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Yesterday it worked
> Today it is not working
> Windows is like that.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Chaos reigns within.
> Reflect, repent, and reboot.
> Order shall return.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> ABORTED effort:
> Close all that you have.
> You ask way too much.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> First snow, then silence.
> This thousand dollar screen dies
> so beautifully.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> With searching comes loss
> and the presence of absence:
> "My Novel" not found.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> The Tao that is seen
> Is not the true Tao, until
> You bring fresh toner.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Stay the patient course
> Of little worth is your ire
> The network is down
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Three things are certain:
> Death, taxes, and lost data.
> Guess which has occurred.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> You step in the stream,
> but the water has moved on.
> This page is not here.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Out of memory.
> We wish to hold the whole sky,
> But we never will.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Having been erased,
> The document you're seeking
> Must now be retyped.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Rather than a beep
> Or a rude error message,
> These words: "File not found."
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Serious error.
> All shortcuts have disappeared.
> Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[Tim Murphy]

Shekhar, this is the most delightful thing I've seen in weeks. Months, Years! All of them are good, and a few are truly brilliant.

[Shekhar Aiyar]

Tim,

Yup, my reaction too. More masterpieces from "Anon".

Shekhar

[Jim Hayes]

Dad Hiaku

Hi,coo, coo, coo, coo
coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo,
coo. Look! he's smiling!.


I think I wrote this
but now I am not so sure
sometimes the mind fails.

Jim



[This message has been edited by Jim Hayes (edited July 19, 2003).]

[John Beaton]

Great reading, Shekhar. They make the power of the haiku recognizable because everyone's "been there".

Adding to Jim's contributions -

I didn't write this but I did corrupt it:

High Coo

Hey diddle diddle
the cat and the fiddle the
cow jumped o'er the moon.

And here's a:

Parody of Jim's "Rumination" on Memory of Authorship

Did I once write this?
The penny never drops but
always the cow falls.

John

[Lo]

These were great!! I cannot resist adding these few for those who share computer space with their children.

Your sons trail cookies
behind them. Follow the path.
Do not laugh too hard.

My icons have turned
into big-breasted women
Which child does this thing?


Where has my snowflake
screensaver gone? Who IS this
undressed Christina?


and a tanka


Parental controls -
Perhaps my kids will someday
remove them from this
screen name and restore to me
my full internet access




[This message has been edited by Lo (edited July 21, 2003).]

[Tony]

Pay no attention
to that man (Bill Gates?) behind
the Blue Screen of Death!

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Winter's memory!
This most unworthy hard-drive
commits seppuku...

[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited July 21, 2003).]