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  #11  
Old 08-18-2018, 02:23 AM
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Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos
  #12  
Old 08-18-2018, 11:28 AM
Andrew Szilvasy Andrew Szilvasy is offline
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of children chewing on their plastic forks.
  #13  
Old 08-18-2018, 11:43 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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x
x
a cartoon tattoo nude across his
chest
x
x

Last edited by Jim Moonan; 08-19-2018 at 07:53 AM.
  #14  
Old 08-22-2018, 01:52 AM
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Whatever floats your boat, whatever works
  #15  
Old 08-22-2018, 03:52 PM
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When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
  #16  
Old 08-22-2018, 04:01 PM
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But after all this work, will no one pay us



(picking up the "chaos" rhyme, hence showing the last two words)
  #17  
Old 08-24-2018, 02:59 AM
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rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime
  #18  
Old 08-24-2018, 10:51 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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x
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme
x
  #19  
Old 08-24-2018, 10:54 AM
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x
Lets end on an even number of lines. Right now we have 16.

But your call, Aaron : )
x
  #20  
Old 08-24-2018, 11:07 AM
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Straight version:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
my thoughts can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
a cartoon tattoo nude across his chest
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works
When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us
rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.

Version slightly edited to make grammatical sense:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
thoughts that can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness—
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos,
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
A cartoon tattoo nude across his chest.
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works:
when I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us?
Rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime—
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.
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