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Old 08-15-2018, 07:52 AM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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Post To the memory of Charles Crane

In memoriam (R1)
"To the memory of Charles Crane,
October 22nd 1930"
The graveyard grass is neatly mown,
but here grow daffodil and fern,
saplings of sycamore, infant oak,
death-come-quickly, leopard's bane –
a kind of love, perhaps, to cloak
the plain memory of Charles Crane.


------
Epigraph added. Title was what's now the the epigraph.
New title "In memoriam"
L6, tried then removed "the plain stone cradle of Charles Crane".


------
To the memory of Charles Crane (original)

No dearly departed, no word of love,
to hint at how he was thought of,
just: To the memory of Charles Crane,
10th April, 1927
.

A hollow rectangle of grey stone,
splotched yellow with churchyard moss,
marks out his place beneath God’s heaven,
the space half-filled with a fallen cross.

The graveyard grass is neatly mown,
but here grow daffodil and fern,
saplings of sycamore, infant oak,
death-come-quickly, leopard's bane –

a kind of love, perhaps, to cloak
the plain memory of Charles Crane.


-----------------
S3L1 was blue campanula

Last edited by Matt Q; 08-19-2018 at 10:42 AM.
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  #2  
Old 08-15-2018, 08:02 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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Hi Matt,

I like it. I'm not sure you need the first stanza for this to work...

Cheers,
John
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Old 08-15-2018, 08:39 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Matt, in S3L4 I think you mean "campanula."

Susan
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Old 08-15-2018, 12:18 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Matt, it is still misspelled.

Susan
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Old 08-15-2018, 12:33 PM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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John,

Thanks. I'm not sure how well it would work without something to set up plainness of the inscription and the suggestion that he may have been unloved, which the ending, I think, depends on. But maybe.

Susan,

Many thanks for the spelling correction, and for coming back when misspelled a second time. For some reason the word is lodged firmly in my brain as 'campulana' and has been for many years. I shall work on reeducating myself.

best,

Matt
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Old 08-15-2018, 12:55 PM
R. S. Gwynn's Avatar
R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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A hollow rectangle of grey stone

I'm not sure what's being described here. If it's a New Orleans-style crypt, that bespeaks someone's care (and expense) with the remains. Is this an infant's grave?
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:09 PM
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Edward Zuk Edward Zuk is offline
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Hi Matt,

It's "leopard's bane"--you have the apostrophe in the wrong place.
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:23 PM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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Sam, thanks. I'd wondered if "a hollow rectangle of grey stone ... marks out his place beneath God's heaven" was enough to get the image across. I'll be interested to hear how it comes across to anyone else. Not sure how better to describe it, but maybe I need to find a way.

Edward, thanks. The bane of just one leopard. I'm not doing very well with these plant names.

Matt
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Old 08-15-2018, 05:39 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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I assume you're saying that the gravesite is bordered by stones and that the cross-tombstone has the inscription.
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Old 08-15-2018, 06:50 PM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is online now
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Matt - I thought maybe this was about some real person, so I googled Charles Crane and found something about these two guys, neither of which seems to have anything to do with your poem.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Richard_Crane

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Crane

I wonder if you could somehow make the image of the grave, the stones, and the fallen cross clearer. Sam mentioned that maybe itís surrounded by stones. That would explain the hollow rectangle. If not, Iím not quite sure what you are saying.

Is moss yellow, or are you alluding to lichen (which can be white or yellow or other colors)?
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