[Lightning Bug]

But if women had breasts where a cow's is -
if their genes made them thusly equipped -
they'd have boobs in their jeans, not their blouses,
and they'd risk major pain when they zipped.

[Stephen Scaer]

But a man who’s equipped like a steer
risks zippers whenever he packs.
I suppose that it’s because of this fear
we have briefs that protect us from slacks.

[grasshopper]

Any real man who is hung like a horse
hates zipping his member, of course,
but his curses (I won't quote 'em),
when he's trapped by the scrotum,
seem to come from a far darker source.

[Michael Cantor]

And if cows were designed like a gal is,
we would want to be udderly fair.
Every Daisy and Flossie and Alice
would receive uplift bras by the pair.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited October 12, 2007).]

[Martin Rocek]

Let clothing for animals vary,
give them bras, boxer shorts, or socks;
the nightmare that I find quite scary
would be waking up as an ox.

[Marion Shore]

A bra for a cow would be so large,
said a Playtex exec with great glee,
imagine the prices we could charge
for bras fitting size ZZZ.

[Michael Cantor]

For Maz

With horses, the problem, of course is
their hooves cannot zip up a fly;
so most, say reliable sources,
would rather be hung like a guy.


[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited October 12, 2007).]

[Jim Hayes]

The arrangement is obviously,
if one is intent on romancing,
that the ideal number is three
with one on her back for slow dancing.

[Roger Slater]

I never saw a purple cow,
or surely I would speak up;
I never saw a purple cow
who had a purple D-cup.

[Terese Coe]

She once had a breast where a cow's is—
they called it the "ball of the belle"—
but when in the midst of carouses,
it first pointed up, and then fell.

But that was before there were genders,
before there were udders that swelled,
or penises or even fenders,
or parts of the body that smelled:

the heyday of single-celled species
who never unbuttoned their pants
without some renowned Maharishis
to laugh at their brainless romance.

T.