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  #1  
Unread 05-08-2009, 05:03 PM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Default The Oldie: Put in Order

The Oldie Competition No 112

A poem of 14 lines, please, called 'Put in Order', with lines beginning with the letters of the alphabet from A to N, or, more trickily, from M to Z. Please send entries marked 'Competition no 112 by 5th June, email; comps@theoldie.co.uk

None of us won anything in 'The Year of the Bear' Competition. I really thought I was in with a chance there. Ah well - another day, the chance of another dollar.

There was a competition not unlike this in the Speccie a while back. Possible revisions of previous entries might be on the cards. Or it might be something entirely new. Come on, let's see what we can do.

Humph! It's a bit dead here on a Saturday afternoon. Here's my attempt. You might think that was pretty quick,but actually it's an old unsuccesful Speccie given a two line ending and a face lift. I think I like it partly because I was very late knowing how to pronounce Aloysius.

Put In Order

Aloysius can’t afford his
Bloody Bentley any more:
Country cottages he purchased
Down in Devon hit the floor.

Every time he checks the numbers –
Falling prices down the list!
‘God in Heaven, Iolanthe
How on earth can we exist?’

Iolanthe hocks her wardrobe,
Just a teeny bit upset:
Kamikaze Aloysius
Lets his wife run into debt.

Mummy said he was pernicious.
Nemesis for Aloysius!
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  #2  
Unread 05-10-2009, 04:54 PM
Janet Kenny Janet Kenny is offline
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John, I think you'll win the Waugh.

Here's mine:

Manifest Destiny’s got the flu,
Noblesse oblige died years ago,
Opposition is clinging to
Party allegiance just to show
Queen and country the answer’s no.
Republican sentiment holds the view
Sabre rattling’s the status quo.
Trust if you must this motley crew,
United we fall as the chill winds blow.
Victory dies like the old songs do,
Watergate seems like Pinocchio,
X-ray journalists now are few,
Youth and lifestyle’s the way to go.
Zurich’s gnomes are the new dodo.


And here's another one:

Put in Order

As I struggle to tidy the study
Before Aunty Prudence arrives,
Counting the hours, since the bloody
Dynastic old crow gives me hives.
Every paper is muddled,
Files are forgotten and botched.
Grasping at straws, I’m befuddled,
Hysterical if I am watched.
Innocent helpers are blasted
Just for observing my state.
Kinks in my spine have outlasted
Lifting weights when I was eight.
Mattress now free of the rubble:
No Aunt, you’re not any trouble.

Last edited by Janet Kenny; 05-10-2009 at 10:05 PM. Reason: italics for French
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  #3  
Unread 05-10-2009, 10:16 PM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Janet, I think your A to N is a winner. Of course, as the man (actually woman) said, the M to Z is much harder. You are allowed TWO goes I think. I don't know where I got that, but I think so.
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Unread 05-10-2009, 11:14 PM
Janet Kenny Janet Kenny is offline
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John
Thanks. Both dispatched. I'll probably do a better one tomorrow but them's the rubs.

I was falling between three political stools in the M to Z. Republicans in Australia will be confused with Republicans in the US.

I think your poem is much classier. Names like that don't grow on trees.
Janet
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Unread 05-11-2009, 06:51 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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SKY GAZING

As soon as I spotted the big bright balloon
ballooning across the sky,
criss-crossing kites in the late afternoon,
daring the pigeons to fly,

everything struck me a little bit weird,
foreign and strange to my eye;
green turned to blue, then the blue disappeared;
high turned to low then to high.

I think it was maybe a dream that I had
just as an eagle flew by.
Kites and balloons are no more than a fad
launched from the ground-- who knows why?

Maybe I'm not a true sky-gazing guy?
Next time, I promise, I won't even try.

Last edited by Roger Slater; 05-11-2009 at 07:26 AM.
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Unread 05-11-2009, 07:44 AM
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Yup! Looks like £25 worth to me.
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  #7  
Unread 05-11-2009, 02:49 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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Put in Order

Alphabetical is good,
Backward's rarely understood,
Chromatism's lost in Braille,
Diatonic's up the scale,
Exponential grows by bounds,
Fat to thin is done in pounds,
Great to worst can be subjective,
Highest/shortest aids perspective,
Infinite is never Man's,
Judged names 1st to also-rans,
K-12 is used in schools,
Lax to strict will work for rules,
Monetary starts with pence,
Numerical's plain common sense.

[Continued.]

Ordinal is fit for praise,
PM's counting off the days,
Q's are science (LOC),
Right or left is binary,
Standard's up to or is not,
To a T's without a blot,
Ultra's out beyond the pale,
VSOP will not fail,
W is wattage brighter,
X is rated for the blighter,
Yes! is what we say to fame,
Z must end this silly game.
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  #8  
Unread 05-11-2009, 03:21 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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PUT IN ORDER

All the letters that you know
By how they're listed in a row

Combine to make each word you're met
Directly from the alphabet.

Every single word you see,
From aardavark right through zymurgy,

Gets constructed in the bowels
Heaped with consonants and vowels

Of the alphabet's recesses,
Joined by unions heaven blesses.

Kings of words you know so well,
Letters cast a magic spell

Making sounds that might have blurred
Nicely ordered in a word.
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  #9  
Unread 05-12-2009, 04:59 PM
Janet Kenny Janet Kenny is offline
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(Missed you Sam. Depressingly good.)



Damn you Roger Slater. You just had to be terrific didn't you!?

(Wow!)

Last edited by Janet Kenny; 05-12-2009 at 05:01 PM.
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  #10  
Unread 05-12-2009, 05:30 PM
Gregory Dowling Gregory Dowling is offline
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Quote:
Gets constructed in the bowels
Heaped with consonants and vowels

Of the alphabet's recesses,
Joined by unions heaven blesses.
Roger, I think you must mean "In" rather than "Of" in the third line quoted here.
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