[Alexandra Baez]

Carl, it’s true, synesthesia could be my only defense for “wan, enshrouded lisps," but it's following the lead of "lilting sun"; they're both sound analogies. I, too, have worried about the Gothic feel of the phrase—more so than the metaphorical disconnect/synesthesia--and yet also have considered, like you, that it might be a good balance for the tone of the sun image. I’ll keep churning ideas on this. Thanks!

Mark, thanks so much for weighing in, and I’m really pleased that you approve of the revision. I seem to have a pattern lately of narrowly skirting various poetic pitfalls like those that you describe. To me, there’s something thrilling about doing so if it can be pulled off successfully—more so than avoiding such pitfalls more widely. The sound really led me in this poem, as you might imagine. I was pleased to have come on “capsuled,” myself, as it reflects the sense of the framed scene, as “bosomed” did not. I appreciate your clearly specifying so many elements that you like in this poem, and I’m overall delighted that you have picked up so sensitively on so much of what I was trying to do here.

The one thing I'm not sure is coming through clearly to anyone (because I'm afraid I'm not expressing it clearly enough) is my central point--the irony that whatever scene presents through the window in March seems to embody the essence of reality, even though it may be opposite in nature to another scene that had the very same effect on the narrator even just the day before.