[Matt Q]

Hi Mark,

I'm definitely not asking for every line and phrase to sparkle and surprise. Many lines in the poem don't, and still worked well for me.

Rereading, the word "dreadful" still sticks out. It might just be to do with the word itself. The types of context in which I might hear it used. Shades of "oh how perfectly dreadful!", perhaps? A word that's maybe become a little weak, lost its dread filling. Anyway, it's just me that has an issue with it, so no doubt nothing to worry about.

Matt

[Susan McLean]

Mark, your poem made me think of this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay:

SPRING

To what purpose, April, do you return again?
Beauty is not enough.
You can no longer quiet me with the redness
Of little leaves opening stickily.
I know what I know.
The sun is hot on my neck as I observe
The spikes of the crocus.
The smell of the earth is good.
It is apparent that there is no death.
But what does that signify?
Not only under ground are the brains of men
Eaten by maggots.
Life in itself
Is nothing,
An empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs.
It is not enough that yearly, down this hill,
April
Comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.


I have been trying to think why I connected your poem to this one. I think it is because both suggest very mixed feelings about spring and what it will and won't bring. Yours is more suggestive, hers more direct, but I like the mix of feelings that remain unresolved in both.

Susan

[Tony Barnstone]

Mark,

Let me echo the others: Lovely poem! Terrific mood. Understated and emotional.

Do these lines have only 4 beats?

where the road /grows faint, / dips / and vanishes.

perhaps / to bring news / of some dread / ful struggle.

Or do you hear BRING NEWS as a double iamb, albeit with only one unstressed syllable before?

Perhaps WHERE is a headless foot, especially since the previous end word landed on an unstressed syllable?

Best, Tony

[Mark McDonnell]

Thanks David,

Well, I do love Edward Thomas. "Old Man" is certainly in my poetry Desert Island Discs. It's possible that my dad is somewhere in the background here, though not consciously. Not to sound evasive but this one really did bubble up from the unconscious murk. What it is "about" is as much anyone's guess as mine. Yes, those Christmas presents carried over into my childhood. I would get walnuts and tangerines (along with the Evel Kneivel loop-the-loop track)

Matt,

Ah, I didn't mean to suggest you were saying that. I was more replying to Nemo's points I think. For me, I still think "dreadful" can carry its original charge.

Susan,

Thanks for that Millay poem. I didn't know it and I now love it. What an ending!

Tony,

Thanks. I think in your first example I hear the ghost of a beat on the final syllable of "vanishes" giving 5 beats. And on your second, yes, I hear BRING NEWS both stressed. If I'm bending the double iamb rule there I'll have to live with it. Glad you enjoyed the poem.

Thaks again, folks.