[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

A while back I purchased a copy of the Ingoldsby Legends. Among the many poems was this curiousity:

In a few days afterwards, Mr. Barham received the following
invaluable recipe; it was forwarded by post without signature
or comment of any kind.

A RECEIPT FOR SALAD
(LAST EDITION)

Two large potatoes passed through kitchen sieve,
Unwonted softness to the salad give;
Of ardent mustard add a single spoon,
Distrust the condiment which bites so soon;
But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault
To add a double quantity of salt;
Three times the spoon with oil of Lucca crown,
And once with vinegar, procured from town,
True flavour needs it, and your poet begs
The pounded yellow of two well-boiled eggs;
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl,
And, scarce suspected, animate the whole;
And, lastly, on the flavoured compound toss
A magic teaspoon of anchovy sauce.
Then, though green turtle fail, though venison's tough,
And ham and turkey are not boiled enough,
Serenely full, the epicure may say,--
'Fate cannot harm me, -- I have dined to-day.'

N.B.-- As this salad is the result of great experience and
reflection, it is to be hoped young salad-makers will not
attempt any improvements upon it.


Anyone know any other examples of recipes in verse? *

Kevin


* (Excepting that one in "Titus Andronicus.")

[This message has been edited by Kevin Andrew Murphy (edited December 26, 2002).]

[Roger Slater]

There was once a thread on Gazebo (I think) calling for people to write recipe poems. I did two of little note:

CATCH OF THE DAY

Making sure your knife is sharp
draw it up along the carp
so the scales come off the skin.
Use it then to slice the belly,
scoop out that disgusting jelly
known as fish-gut, then begin
lifting out the bones, filleting
almost like a child playing
on the ribs of some toy harp.

Heat some oil in a skillet,
add some pepper, freshly mill it,
toss in garlic, add the zest
of half a lemon to the sizzle,
then balsamic, just a drizzle
(do not skimp here, use the best).
Turn the heat up, add the fish.
Now warm up a serving dish.
If you have a wine glass, fill it.

CHICKEN PAPRIKASH

A symphony you can conduct
is Chicken Paprikash.
First make sure the bird is plucked,
then give it a wash,

cut it in eight pieces, put
all the pieces in a pan
with an onion coarsely cut,
until they're brown, not tan.

Then paprika joins the mix,
a cup of wine and broth.
Give the seasonings a fix,
spread the tablecloth.

Serve this dish with sour cream
and pasta, if desired.
Welcome to the symphony!
Conductor, you are hired!


[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited December 29, 2002).]

[Terese Coe]

What Roger said: this was done for a thread Over There, quite a while back.

Blue Corn Pancakes

Construct a wigwam, sit
In it. Assemble wood for fire,
Make smoke, then signal it.
Braid hair with blue sapphire.

Stoke fire. Adore blue corn,
Collect, de-cob, and grind.
It's flour? No,
But never mind.

Ride to Fort Laramie, trade
Beaver skin for flour.
Return fusillade.
Go home to wigwam, glower.

Next morning, find egg.
Steal leavening and lard.
Mix flour, water, bootleg
Leav'ning, butter, egg: stir hard.

Send for Cherokee, Apache,
Kiowa, Lakota Sioux,
Blackfoot, Navajo and Cree,
Kazoo and Roo.

De-bone the lot,
Soak in a pot
Of firewater,
Chew.


Terese

[Michael Cantor]

Here's a rewrite of one I workshopped here a while back.

<u>Preparing Gravlax</u>

No need to spend a lot of time on frills.
The supermarket fish and Cuisinart
will do – grab all the stuff you need and start.
It doesn’t really matter if the dill’s
picked up some sand; just whirl it up with chunks
of sea salt, peppercorns and sugar; spread
the mix on slabs of salmon and imbed
it well: splash vodka, smartly smash two hunks
of fish together flesh to flesh, and bind
them tightly in Saran wrap. Then the trick
is let it fester three days with a brick
on top inside the fridge - and you will find
it satisfying, even though it’s light -
a little treat that’s simple, but has bite.


Michael Cantor

[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Some of my own silliness (and a favorite family recipe):


Schnitzel

Boneless porkchops, pounded thin;
peppered flour to dredge them in;
milk-splashed eggs (these beaten well);
homemade breadcrumbs (folks can tell).
(If the pork has fat on it,
trim this off and render it.)
Dredge pork in flour; egg dip and then
move to crumbs and dredge again.
After this you are beholden
to fry each chop till brown and golden
in oil, fresh lard, or else some Crisco
(or olive oil in San Francisco)
then set aside in a warm oven
(in Berkeley, this blessed by your coven)
while butter melts. Once browned (amazing)
use water (plain) for the deglazing.
This gravy (clear) should hiss and sizzle.
Cut lemons up. (These used to drizzle
juice on chops, before the salting.)
The taste.... Your guests will be exalting!
Serve all (save guests) with boiled potatoes
and salad bright with red tomatoes.

[Tim Murphy]

This is a pretty mixed catch, but I think Bob Schechter's "Catch of the Day," is a pretty impressive poem.