Dear Dougsie,

That would make S1 boring, don't you think?

That would make my narrator sound as immature and sociopathic as the one in your last poem, but thanks anyway.

The liquor store is closed, my wife emptied the last bottle into the toilet, and I'm broke. I'll get back to this asap.

My connection died and I'm going to sleep for a week. Will think about your suggestions meanwhile.

I ran your suggestion by my two-year-old son and he said "Poopie."

I ran your suggestion by my dog and she had puppies. BTW, is anyone interested in a sweet little cocker spaniel mix?

I sent the earlier version of this out and just heard that it won the Richard Wilbur Award. I shouldn't have posted this version for critique. Moderator, please delete immediately!

What you said was very meaningful. Unfortunately, my husband told me not to change a thing and if I do he'll throw me out. You're cute, but not that cute. Just forget what happened last week, ok?

Moderator, please lock this thread.


Terese

Dear Everyone,

Revision dutifully posted! I hope this will address the important concerns some of you raised. Sorry it took so long but my cat got sick this morning and I was down at the vet all day, and only had a few hours to do so much. You guys are great!

Michael Janitor, I think you are funny. http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif This is a workshop isn't it, and what is workshop for except to improve with colleagues? And for your info I have a Bachelor In Arts in English from U.Mass-Amherst, you're neck of the woods. I am still waiting for the Dickinson to wear off, you too? LOL

Teresa Roe, I have tried to make the feminist angle more emphatic.

Henry Quincy, I have tried to make the meter better and the historical parallels more sharp.

Ms. Penny, I give you the respect you deserve because you are the only one who respected my poem for what it is and I love you for it! You have encouraged me to keep working on this so thank you especially!

Jim Puffery, what is an EfH and who are Tony, Dick, Sam, Dave, Aliki, Vince, Soc, and Wystan? I also object to your making fun of that blue-haired lady http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/frown.gif she sounds very nice. But despite all that I have taken your advice and made these longer lines though I don't think I am as bad as you say at the short ones. Short is sweet! PS I have tried to play up the religious angle. P.P.S. you misspelled LAUREATE

Cheryl Baylor, how cool - my grandfather was from Texas! Go Longhorns! Yes, I think I will check out PFFA - thank you!

Dougsie, I have tried to make the romance story come through more clearly. And to answer your question 36C you sly puppy. http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/wink.gif

Ray Pacman, I am so very sorry that you can't enjoy this. You know its funny I googled you and almost nothing came up. Do you get published much? http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif You should check out my chapbook, maybe you would enjoy that better. http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/wink.gif Lots of other critics thought this was worth keeping so I guess you will just have to disagree with them! http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif

Love (to most) http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/wink.gif
Sheila Reseda

Wolves Eat Fairies, Don't They?: A Villanelle

(revision)


Fairies diminutive, fanciful, luminous, spangled, and gay,
Look out for dangers that lurk in the silent crepuscular wood:
Prick up your ear-points, beware the approach of the wolf-pack so gray.

Circle your ranks very tightly and pledge that you won't be their prey;
Screw up your courage and build for your families a fort 'neath a rood,
Fairies diminutive, fanciful, luminous, spangled, and gay!

Hide in the hollows of trunks when the wolves mount the hillock and bay:
Set up a sentry; the attack of the carnivores must be withstood:
Prick up your ear-points, beware the approach of the wolf-pack so gray.

Too long has midnight made dark the wood; fairies now long for the day
When their wee children can prance where the she-wolf is suckling her brood--
Fairies diminutive, fanciful, luminous, spangled, and gay!

Legions of chthonic barbarians cannot be suffered to stay
Here in the once-peaceful grove where the Lord of all fairies once stood!
Prick up your ear-points, beware the approach of the wolf-pack so gray.

Summon your magic with spells cast in dactyls and rhymed aba!
Conjure familiars to smite the wolves' negative attitude,
Fairies diminutive, fanciful, luminous, spangled, and gay!
Prick up your ear-points! Beware the approach of the wolf-pack . . . so . . . gray . . .


---------


Wolves Eat Fairies, Don't They?: A Villanelle

(original)

The wolves eat sheep.
They gorge on blood
While fairies sleep.

Quiet they creep,
As mute as mud--
The wolves eat sheep.

With nary a peep,
Cows chew their cud
While fairies sleep.

The wolves would reap
What shepherds sowed;
The wolves eat sheep.

The darkness deep
Helps wolves hide
While fairies sleep.

O fairies, weep,
For where is God?!?
The wolves eat sheep
While fairies sleep.



[This message has been edited by Clay Stockton (edited June 30, 2006).]

Clay, sweetie, I'm a little worried about you...

Are posts disappearing from this thread?! I have posted two that aren't here, and I thought Jason had a post under Clay's last one.

I had a short post disappear. It read

Thanks all of you for your heroic effort in hammering my double sestina into a sonnet. Unfortunately, as Alan prepared my seventh collection for publication, he cut it to a couplet. sadly, yr lariat

Tim,
I can vouch that your post was indeed on the thread. I seen it!

I had a post disappear here, too. It probably should have, though.

Although it does raise the question for me:

If an ad hominem falls in the woods on someone who never pays attention to anything anyone says anyway...oh nevermind.

System glitches: nobody's deleted anything.

Just to help find the glitches - it wasn't just new posts. I revised my old one (am I the only one nuts enough to constantly tweak his Drills & Frills posts?), and the revision disappeared (since replaced.)