Brown Boris
 

The first stanza is by Boris Johnson and is to be found in the article about him in The Wall Street Journal. He is referring to Gordon Brown.
The lineation and continuation is my own, referring (rather obviously) to a. a woman and b. a dog. Sphereans are encouraged to contribute. You have to stick to the metre obviously.

Bring it on
You great big quivering
Invertebrate gelatinous
Jelly of indecision.
Bring it on.

Cuddle up
You sweet soft murmuring
Congenial desirable
Paragon of perfection
Cuddle up

Put it down
You goddammed blithering
Detestable maleficent
Hellhound of Pandemonium
Put it down

(To All Uriah Heaps, obviously!)

Suck it up
You puffed up whinging
Despicable malodorous
Lickspittle of victimology
Suck it up

Victimology is new to me. I like it! John

(to a reflection in the mirror of nature)

Give it up,
you half-assed bollixing
unteachable preposterous
bucket of psychobabble.
Give it up.

Give it up
You pompous posturing
Inflatable ridiculous
Aper of erudition.
Give it up.

Isn't this the most wonderful form for invective??!!

Totally Shakesperian.

I'm glad you started it, John!

And good ones, Rick and Janet! I want more!

Cally

Spit it out
You mealy mouthed sap-sucker
Arrogant ass-kisser
Twisty-tongued turd taster
Spit it out

Oh - oh,

This is degenerating, like that telephone game. I may have started the process by hyphenating half-assed, which is supposed to be counted as two words. I think this deal is meant to be syllabic, thus:


1/ 1 / 1
1 / 1 / 1 / 3
4 / 4
2/ 1/4
1/1 /1 (repeat first line)

no?

Rick, I had no idea we were talking syllabics since John's two examples wouldn't fit the model you've proposed.
Mary

Who said John's winning?~,:^)

(World to Rick: )

Add 'em up,
You drop-count syllable
Innumerate nonentity
Monkey in lederhosen,
Add 'em up!

Degenerating, Rick? This is obviously what it was mean to be. I thought I might send these to The Wall Street Journal. If they are anything like the pinko Financial Times, they need cheering up. Though the FT would NEVER have printed the interview. Anyway, does anyone object to me sending these somewhere. It would be a poem with multiple authorship. Why shouldn't I send them to Boris himself, come to that.Whatever his address is. Perhaps thatis the best scheme.Unless someone forbids me to use their work this way, I shall do it. He would certainly reply, if he could remember to do it. I gather he has an indefatigable secretary who keeps him on the straighht an narrow. Diffiocult assignment, wouldn't you say.

Send it off,
You light verse editing,
Unflinchingly promotional
Agent for Eratosphere!
Send it off!

Grow a chin,
you fat Etonian,
so smug and oh so overbred
(bet you have a small willy).
Grow a chin.

Blago, Madoff
 

[Latest headline on Blago: "My Impeachment is Politically Driven"] LOL

Blago the Braggart

Rot in jail,
you beady-eyed covetous
ratbrained extortionate
fiasco of government,
rot in jail.


Madoff the Mad

Pay or die,
you leprous duplicitous
freak of felonious
pigbrained rapaciousness,
pay or die.