Eratosphere

Eratosphere (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/index.php)
-   Translation (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/forumdisplay.php?f=36)
-   -   Not Sappho Fr 96, rather Sappho Fr 31 (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=31100)

John Isbell 07-15-2019 11:10 PM

Hi Allen,

Sure, it seems to me a heart is likelier to shudder than to stagger, as you make your choices here in English. I do like precise and nice vocabulary! And of course I can't speak to the Greek.

Cheers,
John

Aaron Poochigian 07-16-2019 07:08 AM

Allen,

I am much happier with this translation now. I think you are as well. Is it done? Is it done?

Allen Tice 07-16-2019 10:51 AM

Πωτζ (ιφ Ι μη;)), και Δζαννις,... thank you both for your recent suggestions and especially thanks to Κυριε Πωτζιγκιαν for his deep Homeric context reading of several critical Greek words.

Ις ιτ δονε ; ις ιτ δονε ; Οχι ορ Ναι ; Υες -- Foρ νοω ατ λεαςτ, Ι ρεcκον, or very nearly -- what do people think ?

I'd like to mention that the hyphenation in the middle of a word at the end of the third line in the Greek original indicates that there wasn't any oral hesitation at those points, and that line three in each case just went smoothly into line four (the Adoneus or Adonic) as one long singing line. It seems that our usual shape for this Sapphic stanza is an artifact of the way the song had to be written out.

I apologize for my childish alphabetic play at the beginning of this post.

John Isbell 07-16-2019 11:32 AM

Glad to be of help, Allen. Nice work.

Cheers,
John

Allen Tice 07-16-2019 12:01 PM

Alas (?), I've reverted in the last stanza to my first choices. That wording looks forward to a more private encounter with the excellent man, and puts the audience right there in the scene a little before that I think.

Allen Tice 07-18-2019 05:41 PM

O ladies and gentlemen, I would like to consider swapping out “penniless” for “destitute” or some other metrically equivalent word or short phrase which has a similar meaning (it is actually present in the remainder of the Pseudo-Longinus text fragment). But I’m not ready to fracture the top post yet. Dunno why. Anyway, what does the Duke of Fresno, d/b/a Aaron Poochigian, or any other of you poetry feinschmeckers (connoisseurs), girls or boys think? I found a $100 bill last week, so it won’t implicate me.

Allen Tice 07-19-2019 02:43 PM

Slight change to obsolete title so it conforms to present poem content. Silly me. Down periscope. Make depth sixty-five. Forward two-thirds.


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