In response to your comments about pov above, Maryann, I had drafted a longer comment than the one I posted. It probed more deeply into the pov question and got a bit complex. However, it addressed the issue you raise.
I agree with what you've written, and I think this could work in the way you describe. But I part company with that perspective when I read "a rite of our own making". Here N is claiming co-origination of what was and, in my view, should still be, the son's personal ritual. Even it was at his wife's suggestion that he repeated it at his father's deathbed, I think she moves too much to the fore when she refers to it as "of our own making".
That's why I had the reaction I cited above. If it said that they placed the token in the father's hand jointly, I'd say it works. Maybe that's what the poet meant and this was a minor concession to rhyme.
Anyway, it's a small point, and it doesn't seem to stop the "emotional arc" coming through.
John
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