[Matt Q]

Brian,

Many thanks for your feedback. I think you are most likely right about making the ending very clear; with this sort of poem the ending is not to be puzzled over.

Julie has pointed out an issue with the scansion of the refrain. I wonder if you (or anyone else reading this) had any problems with it? Julie points out that "inTENsive" doesn't scan as I want it to in this line, as I need "INtensive" or at the very least "IN-TEN-sive".

I'd kind of persuaded myself the combination of the metre and the double 'in' of 'in intensive' promoted the first syllable of 'intensive' at least somewhat. (I think the stop after the first 'in' and the need to audibly distinguish the two 'in's means I pronounce the 'in' of intensive as longer/stronger). However, I could very easily be fooling myself here.

If it doesn't work, my alternatives seem quite limited. I could go with "HOSpital CARE" or "eMERgency CARE" but neither has quite the same ring to it.

Erik,

re. "Ladies' room": Yes, I changed it to that after I'd asked you about it, and I'm happier with it now. Thanks for coming back. And yes, we get the "little girls'/boys' room" thing too.

best,

Matt