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Old 09-11-2018, 08:42 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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On the other hand, the more iambic lines are often short a foot:

This is the vesture Priam wore when he
Sat in assembly… (VII.323-324)

Here in our waters! Destroy their cap-
tain and Burn… (VII.569-570)

The first example is a pentameter followed by a fragment. The second begins with a tetrameter if these line breaks are accurate, but it's hard to tell with that capitalized "Burn."

* * *

This translation also suffers from inconsistency in diction. For every brilliant turn of phrase, such as “in serried ranks” (II.495), there are bouts of “translatese”:

The only use of "in serried ranks" I can think of is in "A Wand'ring Minstrel I.
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