Hi John,
Yes, seeing it with first 5 lines cut I do think it works better. Now I wonder if the title still works with the first 5 lines are gone. Maybe "City Woods" with it's almost oxymoronic feel might work better? There's also something transcendent about woods -- and the idea of finding woods in the city, an oasis of beauty amid the grey concrete -- that maybe seems to fit what's going on. Or maybe it doesn't for you. Still, like Jim, I think another title might be worth thinking about.
-Matt
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