Hello Jan,
Although I'm still not exactly understanding everything that is going on in here, the language was alluring enough to cause me to read it three times.
"Ungentled" is a nice word for a Thomas allusion.
I loved "a sea-wet church on ocean mud..." And where "blood" can frequently be melodramatic, for me, your use of "the broken cross and fallen blood" both had a satisfying rhyme-ring to it and a sense that it was fitting/justified by the language and scenes around it; it didn't fall too heavy, but just right.
I wasn't sure what a clump of "clom" might be. I don't mind at all having to look up one or a couple words for a poem that is evocative enough. In fact, I think it's the only way to ensure that our language doesn't continue to decline into complete unloveliness. But in a final stanza might not be the ideal place for an unusual word. I'm not sure if "clom" is an unusual word or if my ignorance is just showing! Unfortunately, nothing helpful came up when I searched for a definition, until I guessed to search "define clom english" which brought up this on Wikitionary, which sounded like it might be the right one?: "clom (uncountable) A mixture of earth, straw, etc. used in traditional Welsh construction."
Take care,
Chelsea
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