[Golias]

Ted Cruz
made a bit of newz
standing on his legs,
reading Ham and Green Eggs.

Harry Reid
hasn't gone to seed.
Though in Texas nada
he's mucho in Nevada.

Nancy Pelosi
came up rosey;
lost her majority
but kept her minority.

Barak Obama
had a white mama,
but electing to be black
won elections back-to-back.

Jerry Sandusky,
handsome and husky,
never lost his poise
except with little boys.


W.

[Adrian Fry]

Andrew Lloyd Webber
Is remarkable whether
You like music that's middle of the road
Or the physiognomy of the toad.

[Martin Parker]

Carol Ann Duffy
does not do fluffy.
Our Laureate's poetic preference
is not for sycophantic deference.

[Douglas G. Brown]

Kim Jong-un
Won’t be undone
By neighbor states, nuclear
Or kinfolk, avuncular.

Nelson A. Rockefeller
Was a lecherous feller;
The pundits still prattle
How he died in the saddle.

Barak H. Obama
As a boy, was a charmer
Who’d occasionally nosh
On dog meat, by gosh.

Lizzie A. Borden
Was shockingly modern;
Her brute feat of axemanship
Was the ultimate ego-trip.

James Buchanan Brady
Would feast with a buxom lady
Called Lillian Russell, who quite
Could match him in appetite.

Elvis A. Presley
Died, more or less-ly,
Ensconced on the throne
(As The King, he’d been known).

[Gail White]

Miley Cyrus
is all over TV like a virus:
there's no limit to what
you can see of her butt.

(PS: Love the Webber, Adrian!)

[Sylvia Fairley]

My favourite - Martin's Carol Ann Duffy. Perfect.

[Melanie Branton]

Peter Capaldi
Is a bit of an oldie,
But they made him the new
Doctor Who.

No-one's a fan
Of Paul McGann -
He's far too inert. We
Prefer Jon Pertwee.

The competition's stiff
Between Tennant and Smith,
But the jury's still out on
Patrick Troughton.

(Loving Webber, Duffy AND Cyrus)

[Rob Stuart]

Melanie, I've been trying to do all the doctors for some years. I only ever got this far:

Tom Baker
Might have been able to break a
Dalek in half
With a flick of that scarf.

Peter Davison
Was rather more grave. His run
Had a lot of stories that were crap,
Poor chap.

Colin Baker
Was a casting mistake. A
Tailor’s dummy could convey an
Indisputably better Gallifreyan.

Sylvester McCoy
Tended to annoy,
But that thing he used to do on the Ken Campbell Roadshow with ferrets
Had its merits.

Paul McGann
Was chosen as the leading man
For this show’s temporary transformation
Into an American abomination.

[Martin Parker]

Thank you, Duffy fans.
"Miley Cyrus, douze points." (Which may mean nothing at all to those of you on the other side of The Greater English Channel who are spared the horrors of pretty much everything European -- including its Song Contest.)

[Jayne Osborn]

Princess Anne
looks more like a man,
though on reflection, of course,
she resembles a horse.