[David Callin]

Looking out of our house in the deep of night,
when the whole bright congregation had filled the sky,
it seemed that our neighbour’s security light
had conjoined itself with the heavenly throng,
bringing them all together into
one great constellation,
as it might be
the Man with the Infinitely Spangled Balloon
or the Lady with the Astonishing Umbrella,
all made up
of billions of packets of light
travelling almost forever
and all arriving at exactly the same time.

[Jim Ramsey]

Hi David,

This made me think of a Billy Collins' poem called "Monday." It is about poets looking out windows. In his he seems to project himself out into the world among small events. His poem is long (I wish I could have found a better link). In yours your N is reeling in the universe, finding and naming constellations, bringing time to a standstill and infinity within grasp. Your poem is short. I find them both interesting. Yours has some spiritual imagery his lacks. That is a matter of taste. Sorry I am not being of any help right now. His poem is well worth revisiting even by those who disagree it has any similarity to yours. [a late edit: I mean reeling as with a fishing reel, and not the other meaning of staggering and lurching]

https://www.pathstoliteracy.org/wp-c...06/Trouble.pdf

All the best,
Jim

[John Riley]

David, I like this poem. It has your usual intelligence and strong imagery. However, and again this may be my aesthetic, I would probably like it more if "heavenly throng" created by the security lights and constellations becoming "congregations" weren't so baldly stated. Telling us it is a "congregation" and "heavenly throng" disappoints me a little. I suppose that can be perceived as the classic show, don't tell, but for me, it is imagine, don't tell. Regardless, overall I like the poem.

Hope this helps.

[Joe Crocker]

Hi David

The Lady with the astonishing umbrella. It’s good to be re-astonished by the things we think we already know. And light’s coincidence.

Joe

[Jim Moonan]

.
This meets my every expectation of a good poem. Simply stated: I wish I wrote it.

I especially like the two short lines and how hard they work to punctuate the poem and inject layers of meaning.

The title is perfect.

.

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, David—

I like this poem a lot. It balances excitement, wonder, and gentle humor skillfully. I especially like how it begins in an almost devotional tone and ends with a contemplation on astrophysics and relativity.
Very fine work—

Glenn

[David Callin]

Hi Jim. I didn't know that Billy Collins poem. In fact I know very few of his poems. I should know more, I'm sure. Anyway, I've read it now. It is charming. I appreciate the comparison, and it is helpful. Your comments usually are. Don't knock yourself down unnecessarily. I like it when you drop in on one of my poems.

And thank you, John. I do see what you mean. I liked that progression from the religious - or religiose - to the scientific, but you've got me thinking I'm wrong about that.

Thanks also, Joe. And Jim. And Glenn.

Cheers
David

[Harry Nicolas]

Hi David. Personally I usually like poems that expand on thoughts more but there are times like for this poem it introduces the concept and executes the idea within a single stanza and it doesn’t need any more elaboration. Nice work.