New Statesman -- literary recipe winners
No 4217
Set by Leonora Casement
We asked you to think up a literary recipe. We gave you one to inspire you from the 1950s: the Henry Moore Reclining Cake, with icing. “Ingredients: Small bag assorted antediluvian bones, 1/2 bag cement, 3 large-sized holes, Shells from seaside or similar, Essence of squeezed shapes, Mother. Method: Arrange shells and bones in attractive shape. Add cement and three cups water. Stir in holes slowly, one at a time . . . When mixture set, add Mother in reclining position . . .”
This week’s winners
Absolutely superb – we’re so proud of you. We were sorry to lose D A Prince’s Osborne’s Economical Souflé, although unless you believe that all politicians are artists (hmmm!), we’re afraid that this didn’t really follow the rules. An hon mensh and a quick excerpt from Ms Prince: “All soufflés are economical, but the 2012 Budget recipe presents an improvement on the French original (not difficult) in requiring no expenditure at all. Use of this version throughout Britain will be mandatory, as even the most profligate and incompetent household currently enjoys free access to air – though the Ventilation Bill now being debated may change this . . .” This week the four winners can have £25 each, with a £5 book token going to Paul Holland. The Tesco vouchers going, in addition, to Josh Ekroy.
Francis Bacon’s Screaming Plaice
Method
Take one plaice, coat it in raw ire, smoke it in centuries of hereticburning, witch-roasting; drizzle chasubles, rings, mitres, copes over it. Take face, season it with garlic salt, white pepper, chilli, petrified loathing and hysterical gnosis. Slather the whole with a gloss of cooking oil, toss well in frame. Leave to stand for two hours. Have drink of champagne. Have more champagne. Return to plaice. Take one look, erase, start all over again. Elongate neck of plaice, contort dorsal into shape of Pope Clement’s nose, add colouring of choice, purple, red, blue and light grey are probably best. Mix well. Using rolling pin, flatten aspect ratios on table top; pummel with false perspective. Hang out to dry.
Josh Ekroy
Le Carré d’Agneau aux Règles de Moscou
Ingredients
1 sacrificial lamb
5 litres vodka
Angostura bitters
Salt to taste
Method
Stab the lamb in the back, rub salt into the wounds, marinade in vodka (Stolichnaya preferred) and leave for a week or two in a cold, dark place until tender. Sprinkle with a good splash of bitters and grill thoroughly at maximum heat until you are satisfied. Then transfer to a large pot and allow it to stew in its own juices, stirring it frequently. The lamb will be ready to eat when soft enough to remove the backbone. Note that this is a tricky dish and if you find you cannot proceed with confidence, abort. If it feels wrong it is wrong.
Basil Ransome-Davies
Time’s Marrow by Martin Amis.
Ingredients:
1 large marrow, cut in half
100g couscous
1 lemon, juice only
2 tbsp olive oil
100g chorizo, cut intosmall chunks
1 roasted red pepper, finely sliced
2 vine-ripened tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1 tbsp chopped parsley
1 tbsp chopped mint
1 tbsp chopped coriander
Method
Remove all of the above ingredients carefully from the stuffed marrow, reassemble those that have been chopped or sliced and replace them in their containers, securing tightly all bottles, tins and packets. Place the juice back in the lemon and attach lemon to tree. Place the two halves of the marrow together. Walk backwards to the vegetable patch and attach the marrow to its stem.
David Silverman
Turbot à la Graham Greene
Method
Have your fishmonger prepare some fillets of turbot, leaving the dark skin attached. Season with Brighton rock salt and marinade in a mixture of Haitian spices – if unavailable, our culinary man in Havana assures us that Cuban spices are equally pungent. Finally, sprinkle liberally with Mexican chilli pepper, which is the power and the glory of this recipe. Place the fish skin-side down in the pan, and cook gently without turning; in this way your guests, having enjoyed the creamy delights of the flesh, will come to the characteristically dark underside. Serve with a Greene salad, made from the heart of the lettuce, and plenty of seedy English bread. (Gastronomy Weekly: “A dish to satisfy the man within.”)
Brian Allgar
Marquis de Sade Scrambled Egg
Method
Whip the cream. Beat the eggs. That’s it.
Paul Holland
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