New Statesman -- toy winners
No 4220
Set by Leonora Casement
We asked you to think up some new ideas for educational toys to help children prepare for the possibly globally warmed (or worse) future.
This week’s winners
First, a service announcement. You will notice the odd “to be in by” dates. This is because of the forthcoming double Easter issue. Now to the judging. You tried various tacks to fill out the word length: a long list of very sketchily described toys, two or three slightly sketched toys, or just one toy. All stood a chance. However, there was more danger in all but the single toy route and unfortunately Sylvia Fairley (four toys) created only one that really hit the spot. An hon mensh for her “Polar Bear Wipe-out” game (“Pop these cute creatures into melting ice and watch them disappear! Also comes in a penguin model”) £25 to the four winners, with the Tesco vouchers going, in addition, to Adrian Fry for extra merit.
My First Doomsday Clock
Educate your children about the dangers of nuclear disaster and climate-changing technologies with this adorable glow-in-the-dark talking alarm clock. The clock-face radiates a soft blue in the evening, to the accompaniment of an initially soothing voice countdown. The light progressively reddens, the voice gradually becomes more insistent and the captivating “tick-tock” grows louder, until “day-tonation”. The simulated explosions and voices screaming “Wake up! Wake up!” are ideal for rousing sleepyheads from bed. Little ones will also enjoy pressing the screen for full-scale animations and casualty lists. Teach your child how to “set back” the clock and keep it lingering just shy of bedtime by negotiating, drafting, and ratifying treaties to clean their rooms, take baths, co-operate and avoid arguments. Sorry, no snooze function.
Frank Osen
Eco-Warriors
These non-electric action figures made from sustainable woodlands and bearing the Fairtrade label offer children an exciting, yet sane and humanitarian, response to the aggressive fantasy super-heroes of the mainstream toy industry. No moving parts, safe and hygienic, they come with a booklet filled with serious environmental messages, printed on recycled paper. Their all-green uniforms (applied with solvent-free organic paint) will excite and entertain children seeking an alternative to the tedium of Grand Theft Auto and its like. The non-gendered figures lend themselves to happy play in which children can learn to understand issues such as alternative energy sources, melting ice caps, rising ocean levels and the heat death of the universe, annihilating life on Planet Earth once and for all. Fun and ecological awareness go hand in hand with these sets, which start at only £79.99.
G M Davis
Inaction Man
Uniformed in collar and tie, chest replete with non-biodegradable conference lapel badges, this boys’ toy is primed and ready to filibuster! With recession and climate change racing to plunge the world into catastrophe, Inaction Man is on a mission to guard against the former by cravenly disregarding the latter. Available in UN or EU regalia, Inaction Man has a range of thrilling features including eyes that look the other way whenever global corporations trash the biosphere, a fully prevaricating mouth and detachable scruples. You’ll have hours of noncombative fun with Inaction Man, whether watering down resolutions or explaining the complex financial chicanery justifying his use of the Inaction Man air-conditioned limousine (sold separately $199.99). Oceans may rise, continents bake and refugee populations swarm but it’s your job to keep Inaction Man in the air-conditioned little world he knows best: it’ll last his time, but will it yours?
Adrian Fry
Ecopoly
A neo-family-centred game inspired by a pre-inundation board game based on the long submerged streets of London, EcopolyTM inculcates sound neoeco values. Up to four players (a model wind turbine, solar panel, water filter, composting bin) trek via throws of a dice across a numbered board accumulating Carbon Points (CPs) on “good” squares, but losing them on “bad” ones, eg for water leaks, inadequate insulation etc. Players can acquire High Ground, and then “self-build” a house, trading for straw bales (low level), timber-substitute (middle level) and air-conditioning/plumbing skills (high level). “GO TO SEA LEVEL” cards are issued to players who land on “Waste” squares or who are fined for not recycling their batteries, tea bags, etc. The winner is the one who finishes highest above sea level with a fully functioning carbon-neutral house and septic tank.
D A Prince
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