[Marion Shore]

A Passenger

- Lake Tinnsjo, Norway, February 20, 1944


You do not know what lies within the hold.
Calmly, you walk the deck while down below
clocks tick toward their appointed time. You go
about your business, unaware of bold
decisions, grand designs; obey when told
to show your papers. Soon, plastique will blow
apart the ferry’s bow. You’ll never know.
You simply note the night has gotten cold.

But if you knew what this trip held in store,
would you still see the beauty of the moon?—
the rising haloed moon that just now broaches
a mountain pass above the darkened shore
and, full, resplendent, sends a white harpoon
across the water as your hour approaches.


The apparent simplicity of this poem belies its underlying complexity. The poet skillfully juxtaposes the description of the beauty and peace of the traveler's passage with the impending violence and destruction that lie below.

The poem powerfully contrasts the beauty of the natural surroundings: the "rising haloed moon that just now broaches the mountain pass" (note the portentous "just now") with the "the ticking clocks," "the bold decisions and grand designs," the efficiency of the machinery preparing "the plastique [that] will soon blow apart the ferry's bow."

There's yet another layer to the poem. The narrator not only contrasts the horror taking place below with the heartbreakingly beautiful scenery above, but asks if the traveler would see this beauty if he "knew what this trip held in store?" The poem not only captures this brief moment in time, but addresses the same question to all of us, none of whom know "what lies within the hold."

[stephenspower]

Now that's a sonnet.

[Janice D. Soderling]

This really moved me.

I see the scene and know the history. It moved me deeply.

[Gail White]

For the benefit of those who don't know their WW II history any better than I do, I looked the place and date up on Wikipedia. This ship was blown up by the Norwegian resistance to prevent the cargo of heavy water reaching Germany. Some 18 people died and 29 survived.

On the poetic side, I particularly like the "white harpoon of light." (PS - Janice, I was going to guess that you wrote it, before I read your post.)

[Shaun J. Russell]

Saving the best sonnets for last, I see.

Well, this is undeniably a marvelous sonnet, and there's little I can say that isn't baseless compliment. I'm a little put off by "plastique" in L6. Partially because it should probably be italicized, and partially because while it may be the most technically correct word (I'm honestly not sure), it also seems somehow too innocuous. Maybe that's the point. But it's the only word I pause over when I read the poem. The only other terribly minor nit I have is with the comma after "and" in L13. I don't think it's necessary, even though the rules of grammar might technically stipulate otherwise.

Excellent work, and despite some early misgivings about this bakeoff, I now see that it's going to be quite the trial to pick a top three.

[Janice D. Soderling]

Gail, I wish.

It is a stunning piece of work.

[Woody Long]

Very fine. Effective. Visual. An Italian sonnet without apparent strain.

It all comes through, even without the history. With the history, there's more to reflect upon, especially L9. In some ways the trip is not over yet.

— Woody

[Catherine Chandler]

No nits. #1 IMHO.

[Roger Slater]

I'd like to see it end with a question mark. That's all I've got.

Except . . . L8 seems a bit flat, perhaps, and might be used to let us know somehow that "you" are seeing the beauty that the following lines ask about. Simply noting that the night has grown cold, a mundane complaint, doesn't really hint at the passenger's contented state contemplating the moon and the sky and the water, etc. L8 is quite good enough not to derail the sonnet, mind you, but I wish for a bit more.

[Ann Drysdale]

This is an event that has always troubled me, ever since seeing Anthony Mann's film, which is repeated regularly over here as an essential part of Christmas TV. This sonnet asks my own recurring question and does not cheapen itself by offering an answer. Respect.