[Marion Shore]

The Iamb

That last year of the fifties, still before
the eyes of ultrasound, the doctor missed
me waiting there behind you. When he pressed
the stethoscope, his single silver ear,
to the darkness, listening with no picture,
he couldn't find me hiding and dismissed
the second heart, my weaker beat, as just
a bouncing off, an echo trailing yours.

Since then, the one named Ann, defined and certain,
you've always known which way your life was bound;
while I, a hesitation, then a sound
that never seems to finish or begin,
forever pause to check myself, to question,
that second beat still waiting to be found.


I don't think anyone but a twin could understand the closeness of this bond – two human beings sharing the same womb, the same DNA… Of course, it's not that simple – with the bond comes sibling rivalry, intensified all the more by the closeness, the lack of individual identity, the inevitable comparison of one twin to the other.

The narrator of "The Iamb" describes this experience from the POV of the "weaker twin". From the beginning, N. is overshadowed by the slightly older sibling – this before the days of ultrasound where there are no surprises – the hidden presence, the second heartbeat that the doctor dismisses "as an echo, trailing the stronger beat."

This second heartbeat serves as a metaphor for the self-perception of the narrator, who, compared to the "defined and certain twin," sees his/herself as "a hesitation, then a sound," still overshadowed by the strong, confident beat of the older twin, still "that second beat ... waiting to be found."

I think the poet portrays this darker side of twinship with clarity, insight and poignancy. Oh, and the title! Talk about the connection between form and content! What better way to express the strong beat/weak beat metaphor than iambic pentameter?

Bravo/a!

[Roger Slater]

First one so far I can't find a nit with. Excellent!

(DG, they needn't share DNA. If it's bravo and not brava, for example, they don't. But I think it's brava and I think I know who the poet is, though I'm not sure).

[Susan McLean]

I am not wild about the rhythm of L5, but I like the content very much, including the "I am" hidden diffidently in the title. I also like the mix of slant and true rhymes, which echoes the dissimilarities of the twins.

Susan

[Wells Burgess]

A brilliant, exquisite and mature sonnet. I particularly liked the slant rhymes sustained through the octet and would almost have wished them continued in the sestet, although the bound/sound/found rhyme has its own masterful appropriateness to the trope. As one who looks for stresses in metrical verse rather than slavish attention to form, I also welcomed the interruption of line 5, where I found stresses "to the DARKness, LISTening with NO PICture" proving again IMO that in the hands of a confident craftsperson, metrical considerations can yield to the demands of story. A pleasure to have read. Wells Burgess

[Roger Slater]

I hadn't looked closely at the meter, since it all read smoothly. Now that I focus on L5, I think the stress is naturally drawn to "to", the first syllable, which is why I heard/hear the line as pentameter.

[Simon Hunt]

My favorite so far, and it's not close.

[Barbara Loots]

From the title to the end of L14, this poet has pondered every word.

I particularly like "the eyes of ultrasound" playing perfectly against "his single silver ear." The line "you've always known which way your life was bound" layers meaning on meaning.

Clear, poignant, persuasive. Couldn't be better.

[Edward Zuk]

This is wonderful--today's sonnets are both superb.

Other than wondering if "the" could be cut from the title, I have no suggestions.

[Rob Wright]

Yes, this is my favorite so far. Not only is it well crafted, it's memorable. I also think the article could be cut in the title without any loss. In fact without it, the double meaning of "I am (a being distinct from my sibling) and the metrical foot comes into play.

[stephenspower]

I agree that dropping the "the" from the title would play up the "I am" aspect. My only nits are the eye of ultrasound and ear of stethescope. Everyone knows what these are, so I don't see the point of the images. Otherwise, pretty good.