[Jayne Osborn]

Well, after the dismal 'Easter' comp just reported on this one is slightly better, though I'm a bit 'baffled' by it at the moment, I'll confess.

Jayne


The Oldie Competition by Tessa Castro

The fare structure for railway journeys is baffling beyond measure, and once you get on the train, the consequences are sometimes unexpected.

A poem please called 'Two Part Return'. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to 'Competition 150' by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), fax (020 7436 8804), or email (comps@the oldie.co.uk) by 4th May.
Don't forget to include your postal address.

[John Whitworth]

The way I read it, the poem doesn't have to be about railways at all, just be called 'Two part return'.

[Jayne Osborn]

You're probably right, John. Maybe I'm just being spectactularly dim, but what does 'Two part return' actually mean?

And 'unexpected consequences', relating to fare structure (as it appears in that sentence), baffles me too.

What's happening at The Oldie? We've always had nice, clear-cut topics but these last two... I dunno.
I thought that 'Jesus is dead' one was dire - and I'm not even religious.

[John Whitworth]

A two-part return is when you get two separate tickets, one out and one in. The other kind is when you get only one ticket and you have to hang on to it. What ELSE you could make it mean I don't know. I need a thunk.

[basil ransome-davies]

I am entirely in agreement with Jayne about the crap quality of these Oldie comps.

[Bill Greenwell]

[quote=Jayne Osborn;240032]You're probably right, John. Maybe I'm just being spectactularly dim, but what does 'Two part return' actually mean?

17. Using a return ticket
A return ticket (including a two-part return ticket) is only valid for the outward journey shown on that ticket if the ticket is completely unused. You may not use the outward part of a return ticket after you have used the return part.

Someone round here has to be The Nerd

[basil ransome-davies]

Unfortunately, Bill, that does not define 2-part return, which I take to be a brace of tickets, one for out & one for home. Any return I buy from Virgin is like that. Indeed I haven't seen a return of the old type – one ticket demarcated for out & home & clipped appropriately – for yonks.

[Mary McLean]

I think 2-part distinguishes it from a day return, which is on one ticket.

Is there a (lower) age limit on entrants to The Oldie, or are we as old as we feel?

[basil ransome-davies]

Virgin always issue separate out & return tickets, whatever. Perhaps other rip-off merchants, I mean rail companies, do it differently.

Is there a Speccie comp this week?

[FOsen]

Mary,

I believe the general rule is: if you wouldn't be embarrassed to list 'The Oldie' on your acknowledgements page, then you're too young to enter.

Frank