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  #1  
Unread 12-11-2011, 04:55 PM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Default Dth5



5.

Your Other Women

Your secretaries, eager to assist you;
your colleagues, protegées, even your dean;
the shopgirls who, you joke, cannot resist you;
my own best friends; the maid who comes to clean;
the women whom you’ve charmed in conversation;
the students who adore you from afar--
how can I resent their admiration,
knowing, better than they, how good you are?

So pick your favorite starlets for your spree
and rent each film they’ve been in from the start--
I won’t complain. How can I say you’re wrong
to ogle blondes you swear all look like me?
For when our jobs require long weeks apart,
we both know what it takes to get along.
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  #2  
Unread 12-11-2011, 06:43 PM
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Rick Mullin Rick Mullin is offline
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You got that right.
RM
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  #3  
Unread 12-12-2011, 06:03 AM
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Catherine Chandler Catherine Chandler is offline
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Biting. Sarcastic. To the point. Someone's going to read this and say "Ouch! "
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Unread 12-13-2011, 11:43 PM
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Mary Meriam Mary Meriam is offline
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Maybe there could be a companion poem: My Other Men. I remember this and know who wrote it. Nice work!
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  #5  
Unread 12-14-2011, 02:55 PM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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It's a charmer, it's well done - and I'm pretty sure I know who wrote it - but I can't help feeling that it could be even better. A bite more bite, some twists, a bit more of a sense of snark towards the competition, a few back-handed compliments to augment "better than they", could add more depth.
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Unread 12-14-2011, 04:10 PM
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Janice D. Soderling Janice D. Soderling is offline
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I've no idea who wrote this, but I wish it had been me.
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Unread 12-14-2011, 09:35 PM
Lance Levens Lance Levens is offline
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It may not be sarcastic enough--or at all.
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Unread 12-15-2011, 12:38 PM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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I don't think it is sarcastic. I think it misleads the reader into expecting ritual snark and becomes, instead, a mature reflection on "what it takes to get along." I think both people here are in collusion rather than competition. I like it because of this twist.
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Unread 12-15-2011, 05:35 PM
Cally Conan-Davies Cally Conan-Davies is offline
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The last line is where the reader comes in, isn't it? I mean, you ask yourself, what does it take to get along? I think I lean towards Ann's view of this - I think it's more thoughtful, more clear-eyed, than cutting. It hurts, for sure, there's pain here. But something more, too, something deeper that complicates it.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:54 AM
Charlotte Innes Charlotte Innes is offline
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Yes, Michael, Cally, and Ann are right. The poem cuts to the heart of the matter, but somehow there could have been more--although the last line is great. I didn't see sarcasm, but more a kind of rueful stance, also affection, with an undercurrent of anger. The usual complicated human mix Two people who've known each other a while. Or, as Ann says, "I think both people here are in collusion rather than competition." A good poem, but... doesn't entirely lift off, perhaps?

Charlotte
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