[Jayne Osborn]

Nice neighbours? Neighbours from hell? (Surely not that awful Aussie 'soap' though?)

I've just noticed a discrepancy over the comp numbers: 150 was 'Two Part Return' so this one is 151 and not 150 as it states below (and in the magazine.)

Jayne


COMPETITION NO 151
by Tessa Castro

Having spent a lot of money on soundproofing, I find that I can still hear my new neighbour snoring. A poem, please, on any aspect of Neighbours. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to ‘Competition 150’ by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), fax (020 7436 8804),
or email (comps@theoldie.co.uk) by 1st June. Don’t forget to include your postal address.

[Marion Shore]

I have a published one. Is that OK, do you think?

[Jayne Osborn]

I'll find out, so that we know for future reference, as I'm not 100% sure of the answer to that question, Marion.

(I wouldn't have thought they're too 'precious' about it at The Oldie.)

Jayne

[John Whitworth]

How would they knw it was published, Marion? Anyway, it doesn't expressly say you can't. Let's take the old fashioned BritishTory view that anything not expressly forbidden is allowed, rather than the Russian Socialist one that anything not expressly allowed is forbidden.

[Brian Allgar]

Or the Nazi regulation that anything that is not expressly forbidden is compulsory.

[John Whitworth]

Touché, Brian. Add the accent at your leisure.

[Jayne Osborn]

Accent added by me, John. Easy-peasy: Contol/alt/e does it, for me anyway.

Jayne

[John Whitworth]

Neighbours

The people next door are such wonderful people,
Magnificent people, the best that could be,
Superlative people, impeccable people,
The loveliest people you ever could see,

But faraway people, non-neighbourhood people
Are horrible people and rather obscene,
Untalented people, unfortunate people,
Inadequate people, and not very clean,

Those people who people the places that people
Like our sort of people are fearful to go
Are hardly the people (detestable people)
That our sort of people could possibly know,

So here’s to our people, such scrumptious people,
Rambunctious people, the people who are
Respectable people, delectable people
Collectable people who win the cigar!


Cripes! How do you spell collectible?

[Ann Drysdale]

The two spellings are usually listed as interchangeable, with "able" given first and "ible" as an acceptable variant.

I've made up a rule of my own, though. For what it's worth, I use "collectable" as an adjective - like your people, who are worthy of being collected by those of like mind, and "collectible" as a noun representing those items of particular and peculiar desire considered "collectable" and hunted down by "collectors".

So sue me.

[Brian Allgar]

Dear Ms Drysdale,

Thank you for the invitation. We are always happy to undertake litigation, especially of an entirely frivolous nature. Please let us have the contact details of your solicitor in order for us to agree on a suitable pretext to sue you.

Yours obsequiously,
Sue, Grabbit & Runne